Lwb, I have read "Not Just Friends", but it has been a while. I picked it up not long after you began reading it and talking about how it made you mad enough to through the book across the room. But I think it deserves another read.
Gypsy, Mike, I'm sort of at peace with the snooping itself. It's not the first time however. I figure as long as one does'nt obsess about the snooping or allow it to come between you and actually healing/detaching, and as long as it provides information to help deliver one out of the darkness of ignorance, then it can be okay. I feel this is the case. I don't feel a desire to snoop anymore -- I know just enough to tell me the lay of the land now, and I can move ahead in that knowledge. Until maybe the next new development that transpires, possibly due to yet another change in tact by W, I feel no desire to persist in snooping.
Mind you, I have shed a tear again over this, realizing the plight is as bad as I had feared -- but I sort of knew this already, intuitively and indirectly. And I now have confirmation of just which scenario -- of about three primary scenarios I've been considering -- this really is.
Now I will focus my effort again back on my S's knowing that their mother is not as stable and responsible as she makes herself out to be. I know that any admonishments she delivers to me for being a so-called bad parent are actually delivered out of subconscious guilt for her own foolish transgressions. Either way I need to do what I can to provide shelter and comfort for my boys, as this might not turn out a happy ending for this poor lost person they love so very much.
My heart breaks for all of them. But I know now that the Lord has given me the challenge to heal myself -- at least to the point where I can still be the rock of support for my S's. As for W, she will continue to refuse to even recognize any offers of help from me, she still denies my very humanity -- so I cannot help her.
