Thanks for checking in Lola....I am doing ok. Just more and more anxiety building as I come up to Monday. Tomorrow night I was thinking about driving to a friends house about 3 hours away from here and staying there for the duration of my one year, but a part of me wants to stay home in the small chance that he may say something to me or want to see me. I am so lost on the situation.
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
I think it would be wise to do what is best for you. Trust me, going through an anniversary alone is a really hard thing. I wouldn't count on your H saying anything, so if you feel the need to be surrounded by friends, then that is your best bet. You will get through it, I promise. I know right now it is hard and you are feeling lost, but alot of GAL is about doing things for yourself.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hi Kiki!! I am so sorry yr H is being such an a@@!! I just went through my 1 year ann also and as much as I hoped he would want to spend it with me or call or at least acknowledge it..nothing. I went to dinner with a friend and enjoyed a nice pitcher of sangria. She was really good...she kept up the conversation and did everything to keep my mind off of the "DAY". I suggest you do something similiar, go out have a nice dinner..but no sangria for you unless it's a virgin....lol. Don't expect ANYTHING from him that day that way you won't be disappointed and if he does say/acknowledge anything it will be a bit of an unexpected treat.
My anniversary came and went too. I spent the evening alone (I wanted it that way) looked at pix from the wedding, threw the album against a wall and stomped on a pic of H's face.
I thought it was productive! I managed to get some of the anger out. But ultimately you have to do what you think is best...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
So I just got home from a little 2 night get away. I didn't do anything special, just drove a couple hours away to hang out with friends. The night before the anniversary was awful. I cried for a the entire time I was on the road to go visit my friends. When I finally arrived I looked like death and didn't feel too much better. Something great happen though, within a half hour of being with my friends I was smiling. From that point I have yet to cry another tear. Yesterday (the anniversary) I did not shed a single tear. There were times when I had to try very hard to hold the tears back but I think my friends were great a recognizing these moments and would change the subject or make a joke to make me smile. So overall it was a decent day. I took it so much better than I expected.
I debated on driving home last night in the hopes that H would say something about the anniversary when I arrived him, but decided against it. I thought where would I rather be? With my friends happy or at home sad and disappointed? It felt great to worry about my own feelings for once instead of caring what he was thinking.
I don't know what today will bring but I am trying to learn to be thankful for what I have and learn to let go of all the bad for now.
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
Oh Niki it sounds like you are doing great!!! I am sorry you had a rough start, but so pleased that you were able to enjoy the time you had away!!!!
(((Niki)))
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
So I spent last night at the emergency room for most of the night. I found out I basically have to have a surgical procedure done in order to save the pregnancy. There is something wrong with my cervix which could possibly be caused from the surgery I had last summer when I had my bout with cancer.
H did not show up to the hospital when I called him...he was "bowling", said he would call after he was done. When he called I told him about everything and said we needed to talk about the risks and everything with the surgery. That was at 11:00pm, he said he'd be right there, came home around 1:30am. When we finally sat down to talk he told me that maybe I shouldn't have the surgery that I can always get pregnant again later. SO..my H basically told me to lose the baby.
Well I went to the Dr. today and H texted me afterwards, this is how it went exactly... H - "How did it go?" Me- "Do you even care? Last night you basically told me to just allow myself to lose the baby" H - "I just figured you would want a baby with someone who actually wants to be with you instead of having one while we are going to be going through the divorce. It just seems easier" Me - "I'm really hurt by you right now" H - "Why?...cause I'm the only one thinking logically?" Me - "this is a baby we are talking about and I will do anything I can to save it. I'm not going to just take the easy route"
I haven't gotten a response back and that was about 3 hours ago. I am so hurt right now I don't even know how to describe how badly.
I feel so much anger right now and I hate it. I thought we were slowly starting to improve with the baby steps and everything but now I feel right back where we started, if not further back.
:o(
Need some hugs!
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
I think you have to make the decision for you, and the baby, without much consideration for his input, right now. That hurts to say, but I think you had already come to that conclusion.
