Uuugh...Saturday after some gentle persuasion to get in bed early, so we wouldn't be doing something at 1 AM, she gave in. Starting things off on the wrong foot like this really set a tense mood. I started caressing her back only to be accused of trying to make a move on the "back door" as I worked my way lower. This has been of limits from day one and I know it... WTF?
To this I stop straddling her, lay down on my side of the bed and ask, "How long have you known me? Why do you think I'm trying to start something there?" Then I say, "Look I know you don't like that and I respect that. I have always respected that. Do you want me or not? Let me know when you want me, otherwise I'm going to sleep now."
"I do want you H."
"If you want me then show me."
So then she kisses and hugs me and we do eventually ML but there's a lot of huffing going on. I don't mean heavy breathing I mean annoyed sighing... oh and yawning too.
It was all very strange and tense... I guess you could say it was a grudge f*%k. Actually it was pretty good sex (yawns and huffs aside) but I then got the, "You wore me out" complaint.
Sunday was ok until we were ready to go somewhere and she got mad about no help with laundry. I finally said, "Look, if you need help tell us, we're no mind readers. We have chore too and we don't get help with them, if you need help fine. Don't get mad if you don't ask though." Then we kind of made up on our way back home.
That night we snuggled and she even caressed my back as I fell asleep. Everything seems to be fine again. I really don't know what to make of this. It's almost like she's messing with my head now.
Monday night just when you least expect it... it happens. After watching an old Buster Keaton movie together in bed, she turns off the light, turns off the TV and then she climbs on top of me. This is the first time she has initiated in...uh.....ever! Oh and it was great sex too.
Have we finally turned the corner?
I guess I misinterpreted the tone of Saturday night. Either she was really turned on to what we were doing then or my saying "show me that you want me" had some impact. Maybe in her reading of SSM she has finally had that "ah ha" moment, she finally "gets it". I hope that is it. This is what I have been wanting all along, it's all I ever wanted. To ML with the one I love, that's why we marry. We never want that feeling to end once we have found "the one".
From now on I won't settle for anything less. No more plain vanilla. There is no risk in losing her by insisting on passion in our SL. The risk is in ever letting that passion die. I will keep making her feel beautiful and sexy... because she is.
Monday night just when you least expect it... it happens. After watching an old Buster Keaton movie together in bed, she turns off the light, turns off the TV and then she climbs on top of me. This is the first time she has initiated in...uh.....ever! Oh and it was great sex too.
Have we finally turned the corner?
I guess I misinterpreted the tone of Saturday night. Either she was really turned on to what we were doing then or my saying "show me that you want me" had some impact. Maybe in her reading of SSM she has finally had that "ah ha" moment, she finally "gets it". I hope that is it. This is what I have been wanting all along, it's all I ever wanted. To ML with the one I love, that's why we marry. We never want that feeling to end once we have found "the one".
From now on I won't settle for anything less. No more plain vanilla. There is no risk in losing her by insisting on passion in our SL. The risk is in ever letting that passion die. I will keep making her feel beautiful and sexy... because she is.
I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. I'm a bit baffled and at the same time delighted, it's a mystery with a pleasant ending. I can't stay on long now so it may be later before I can get back on.
So then she kisses and hugs me and we do eventually ML but there's a lot of huffing going on. I don't mean heavy breathing I mean annoyed sighing... oh and yawning too.
I used to and still do feel so much pressure when my Hubby says ... "show me ".
I dunno how or why. It is hard to explain. I feel like I end up trying to hard and it feels , well quite frankly like Sh*t. I get overwhelmed. I get angry and it ends up bad. For me it is more fun when he lets me do what I want to. No pressure. I love when he takes me.... or when I take him. Or a mix of it. But if I have to "show him " for some reason I cant.
There have been a few exceptions; I let go and said to myself... F*ck the living daylights out of him and then maybe he will never say "show me" again.
Or "thats all you got?" I despise that one too.
So long story short... maybe you used a tone when you said show me? and thats where the huffing and puffing came in ?
Also the day she took you. What did you do for her to get her feeling so lovey towards you? Anything in particular? Or has been a few weeks of good emotional connection? Or simply a fluke?
I know for me personally. if my hubby is sweet,attentive and loving to me .. it gets me "going".
I think every Woman has her right mix of things that will make her feel special and motivated to "take charge".
Pay attention and then you can possibly get her to feel like initiating more.
Sorry to hear you are so tired from the move. Well at least the worst is hopefully over by now.
All I can think of that I did Monday (her "take charge" day) was a ton of housework and just being my normal happy self for her. We just had some labor day hamburgers and 2 beers for me, 2 Margaritas for her. I tried to make a move when D was at band rehearsal between 6-8pm (yeah they did rehearse on labor day) but otherwise nothing special. Like I said, Saturday was *good*, once we got going... so maybe she just wanted some more? It really took me by surprise though.
Things between us have been so much better lately. Hugging, kissing, touching and talking so much more now. Making her the focus of my life makes a huge difference too. I have come to realize that I really had neglected her for so long, what was I thinking by doing that?
I think she is enjoying the attention that I give to her now. Before she felt that she had to "put out" if I touched her a certain way, now she knows that I can just rub her sore muscles without any expectations. When she wants more, she knows I am always ready to go.
I have come to realize that I really had neglected her for so long, what was I thinking by doing that?
I am so glad you came to this realization... YOU are doing so awesome.
I wonder when or if my hubby has or ever will? I am not feeling sorry for myself though.... he does love me. Have a great day.... All my best to you... ~Ali
Well, it's official... I got "the AX" yesterday, I'm a layoff statistic now.
D's birthday was fun yesterday and we're taking her to a concert this weekend as one of her presents. I'm not going to worry her with my job searching, we're just making this a fun weekend for her sweet sixteen.
Just catching up on your sitch. Looks like things are going really well.
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Have we finally turned the corner?
Maybe? Possibly? Probably? If the answer was "Definitely" what would you now start doing differently? Think about it.
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From now on I won't settle for anything less. No more plain vanilla. There is no risk in losing her by insisting on passion in our SL. The risk is in ever letting that passion die. I will keep making her feel beautiful and sexy... because she is.
Keeping the passion burning in a marriage is a neverending journey of thought, effort and imagination. But it is a risk, because just as in life, there are no guarantees. Perhaps the trick is recognising that to not risk living with passion, is to not really live at all.
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Things between us have been so much better lately. Hugging, kissing, touching and talking so much more now. Making her the focus of my lifelove makes a huge difference too. I have come to realize that I really had neglected her for so long, what was I thinking by doing that?
It may seem a small point - but its not. I'm reminding myself just as much as you! DQ's most recent posts make the same point from a different persepective.
Have a great weekend.
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
just when you least expect it... it happens. After watching an old Buster Keaton movie together in bed, she turns off the light, turns off the TV and then she climbs on top of me. This is the first time she has initiated in...uh.....ever! Oh and it was great sex too. 
I can't stay on long now so it may be later before I can get back on.
