For the Guy with Kids and a WW 11

[whatdidido]

Sounds like me a little. I have been organizing/cleaning all weekend. I'm glad you found your guitar, and are cleaning out stuff and feeling fresh and new. That's a good thing.

Do you still have a picture of you and your wife up? You should so your kids and her know that you are NOT OK with her leaving. Until SHE gets a divorce, you are still her husband, and that is what I'd tell the kids. I don't think the idea is to have her think you've moved on, but rather have grown as a husband and a man.

Being alone DOES suck, but it sure allows you to get a lot done and to reflect on everything and yourself, doesn't it? It forces you to do that rather than distract yourself with outside influences. It is hard, yes. But, it is needed. My H went for YEARS distracting himself (not with other women, but with work and projects) and didn't deal with any of his issues. When he did, that's when I took notice and said, "What the heck am I doing?"

((((((h4h)))))))

[hopeful4her]

I suppose I could put up the Marriage Contract and the couple of wedding pictures that I put away a couple of months ago. Remember I got pissed at something and took it all down. I still had them hidden, so she didn't get to them.

I hadn't looked at them recently. I think it would hurt too much. Besides, I was thinking that if she ever came here without me being here, she might just take them too.

I'll consider it. I tell the girls that I still love her. Some of my texts to D11 say that I love "all you guys".

BTW, how did you find out or notice the things your H was doing? You know how dark I am with my wife.

One thing you have to remember dub....your H NEVER knew you were cheating on him. Correct me if I'm wrong. I think that would change things a bit.

Don't know. Have you ever thought about that? Have ya'll discussed it?

[hopeful4her]

Like I told Suga, I think I tried to cleanse the house of my wife, but I know she's still here.

Even though she's not.

I did hang up 2 wedding pictures of us. I was going to put our Marriage Contract up too, but I forgot that I had taken it out of the frame, which she DID take. I'll have to get another frame. I did not put up the man and woman figurine. It's Demdaco or Willow Tree. One of the two. I have gotten a bunch of different ones for my wife through out the years. Mostly mother stuff. I had gotten this one on our anniversary last year, when things were looking so good. Then came July when she lost her job.

Looking through the few wedding pictures.... hurt. It was such a happy day. Married on Valentines Day at a place called the Japanese Tea Gardens in San Antonio. It's a beautiful place near downtown. Cherry blossom trees(I think) and ponds everywhere filled with those huge Japanese gold fish. Just beautiful. Just like her.

I had to call D11 tonight. She was already in bed, but awake. She was tired out from yesterday. We talk a little. D6 has her allergies kicking in so she is taking medicine. Kind of out of it. D11 and I tell each other we miss each other and love each other. We talk about our day a little. I tell her what I did. She says I SHOULD be tired, too. I am. Telling each other goodnight made me cry. I HATE how emotional I get.

I need to man up.

I have to control myself. I keep telling myself I control me.

I just wish they were here with me.

Saturday night, D11 fell asleep in my bed. I let her stay and I went to bed too. Early in the morning, D6 came in and layed next to me on the other side. I'm stuck in the middle of my two girlies.

Nothing better.

I'm going to have a great week. Who's with me?

[hopeful4her]

Just realized I got this from my Pastor on Friday morning.



Rising Higher Devotional from Fortress Church

Still in His Hands

Then the word of the LORD came to me: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand . . .” Jeremiah 18:5, 6



Things were not going well for Regina as she walked into church one Sunday morning. Her son was getting into all sorts of problems. Her car needed a $ 1,200.00 repair. Her sales were down and, therefore, so was her income for the month. She had fallen into a mini-depression and made the decision to quit her job on Monday morning.

As she stood in worship at church that Sunday morning, she heard the words to the song, “The Potter’s Hand.” Take me, mold me, use me, fill me; call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me. I give my life to the Potter’s Hand! As Regina lifted up her hands, she remembered the day when she gave her heart to the Lord. Then, she realized that she was still in the Potter’s hands, despite all that was happening around her.

Her son was having an attitude problem, but he was still in the Potter’s hands. Her finances were looking pretty grim, but she was still in the Potter’s hands. Her spirits were down, but she realized that her life was still in the Potter’s hands. As tears were streaming down her face, she made a decision not to quit, because God was molding her into the woman of virtue she was called to be.

What about you? Have the circumstances in life caused you to want to give up? Think back to the time you gave your heart to the Lord. And remember that you are still in His hands.



Discipleship Principle: I have held many things in my hands and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess. - Martin Luther.



Be Blessed,

Randy



This Sunday at Fortress: “No Financial Need is Too Large” Part three of our series, “Nothing’s Too Hard for God.”



I was going to forward it to the wife with this message:


"This one came to to me from Pastor on Friday, the same day your boss sent you yours. I just looked at it. Same message but in a different form. Not puting it in a box, but in His hands.

I hope Juli is feeling better. Amanda said she had gotten a little worse.

When I asked you if you had gotten my email, you got a funny look. Why?

You don't have to answer. I'm just up late and really missing the girls."


She won't see it until tomorrow because I'll send it to her work email. She says she doesn't check her yahoo anymore.

Bad idea?

[whatdidido]

How did I notice the things my H was doing? He was doing 180s all over the place. AND, he went to counseling on his OWN! He didn't let my attitude or even my meanness at times stop him.

My H never did know I was having an affair, you are right. I always guessed he kinda knew. He told me later he had suspicions, but just thought I'd NEVER do something like that. I'm not the type to. He said he wished I had told him BEFORE it became physical. He said he would have done something right then and there. He also said, unfortunately, if I hadn't had an affair he may never had gotten to this point of change. He said he was comfortable and set in his routine, and knew nothing different.

WOuld things have been different? Yes. Undoubtedly so. When I give you advice it is based upon what I know now looking back on everything. Also,remember, I still had feelings for OM when I got back with husband, which is what your wife would have. I use what I know about my friend who is divorced twice and is now with affair partner number 2 as well. I know how your w is feeling.


I changed your email a bit:

"This one came to to me from Pastor on Friday, the same day your boss sent you yours. I just looked at it. Not putting it in a box, but in His hands.

I hope Juli is feeling better. Amanda said she had gotten a little worse.

When I asked you if you had gotten my email, you got a funny look. Why?

Have you considered Retrouvaille?"

[hopeful4her]

I changed it up a little more:

This one came to to me from Pastor on Friday, the same day your boss sent you yours. I just looked at it.

Not puting it in a box, but in His hands.

I hope Juli is feeling better. Amanda said she had gotten a little worse.

Why are you not sleeping well still?

On Sunday, I asked you if you had gotten my email, you got a funny look. At least, it looked like it. Why?

Going to deposit your check and the house payment into the joint account today. Car insurance should be hitting tomorrow. Do you want to keep it or should I cancel? I can cancel it up until about 2pm today.

And I also wanted to ask if you looked through the packet I gave you.

Sorry for the 10,000 questions.
Keep your eyes open and be safe.

R



Okay?

[whatdidido]

Perfect!

[hopeful4her]

dub, question.

How close did you and H stay? I mean what kind of relationship did you maintain with him and what kind of relationship did he try to keep with you.

Another question is, what kind of relationship did you WANT to maintain with him and vice versa.

I ask both questions the two different ways because most of the time, they are completely different between the two of you.

Curious.

BTW, no response from the wife on my email. Either it didn't make it to her(I sent it to her from my yahoo address, so it could have been taken as spam)or she didn't have time to respond or she doesn't want to respond.

With her, I'll assume the worst case scenario, so can't worry about it. Will keep on moving on.

Again, I tried. Think I'll stop trying and just keep living.

[lost_in_space]

H4H

Don't expect immediate anything. You have it out there - it may take a few days. AND DO NOT ALWAYS ASSUME THE WORST... in fact, don't assume ANYTHING! Assumptions are the root of misunderstandings which lead to nothing good.

OK, off my soapbox.

Hang in there bud.

[hopeful4her]

Me thinking like that....does that make me a glass half empty kind of person? Hmmmmmm. Too deep for me.

Yeah, I was laughing to myself that possibly the same thing happened to my email that happened to hers.

But it IS too easy to assume with her. Now I have to cover the insurance payment and get it from her later which I didn't want to have to do.