Thank you, thank you ladies. You are providing an invaluable service. This will bring me at least some piece of mine.
Summary of my sticch. After 17 years, W drops bomb on EA (maybe PA) in March. We are on divorce track. Of course I believe I have been a good husband - good money, nice home, lots of family travel, me good with household help, lots of hired household help for her to do own thing. Problems - emotional distance, loneliness, W feeling unaccomplished as a writer/poet, me not knowing her love language. Of course I did all the wrong things when the bomb was dropped in March. Did MC, W did not drop affair so no real chance. Agreed to D and working with mediator. W believes she has been slave to my demands (still do not know how as I always viewed W as equal and never asked for anything), W does not believe trust can be restored because of EA (from note I saw lying around), W believes she deserves better H.
My questions to you: 1) I am doing the LRT but, I believe, my Ws love language is quality time. How do you feel about the LRT?
2) We are living together and while I am not talking about R, I can see she wants to get the D over with. Will D provide us with a better chance to reconcile?
3) How did you feel about whether trust could be restored with H? We want to be friends but she is very distance now and frankly I think there have been other EAs. Should I tell her that she needs to work on rebuilding my trust in her?
