Darling, I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. That's too much on your plate at one time.
The problem with your BFF, is it something that can be handled with a quick talk? A simple misunderstanding? That would be the quickest one to get off your plate. Having your girlfriend upset with you is never good for the PMA.
I know you have been having problems with your XH. He is obviously not making things any easier with your D. Has he done something new to push buttons or is the same 'ol same 'ol?
Don't let them knock you down. What's that song say? I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain't anybody gonna keep me down....or something like that.
Many hugs and squeezes for you Lola. You know we're all here for you. Keep the faith sweetie.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Ohhh Lola I sooo know the feeling that you are talking about. I too feel that every time I get to a point where I think everthing is just starting to look up, be it financially or emotionally I get a fly kick to the gut!!! I have come to the conclusion that for whatever reason I am meant to become extremely strong through this ordeal and now look at every set back just as another challenge that I need to work through. I have discovered that I am more stronger than I ever thought I could be and have learned ALOT about probelm solving on my own.
This is only another test for you and you will overcome it and become stronger also.
The thing with BFF is partially my fault. She went to take the bar exam about a month ago, and I told her I would visit her church when she got back. The thing is, things got really busy at MY church, so she feels like I was using all of that as a excuse not to go to her church. It was never my intention to "blow her off" per se, and I had every intention of going to her church, but she is the type of person that if you make a commitment, you honor the commitment, and I knew that. I tried to apologize, but she is mad, and I have to let her be mad.
W/ XH, it is the same old stuff. He got off work early yesterday, and wanted to know if I could run D12 up to his job. I am just aggravated b/c it seems like I always have to do the driving, the buying of her meds, the drs appointments, all the stuff a parent does, and I don't get any help w/ it. He complains that is what he pays c/s for but honestly, he pays $230/ mo and that does not cover all of it. H pays out more for insurance every month. I try my best to just deal because it really makes no sense for me to get angry, but today I needed to bring over her clothes for the week. I wash them because XH does not really know how to do laundry, and because he works at Chili's in the kitchen, D12's stuff ends up smelling like grease. So I was taking it over, and asked him to make sure she had her red school shirts so I could wash them. He told me if they could find them. WTF is that? IF they can find them??? When I pulled up, I told him that I was not trying to be a B, but I was trying to teach D12 some discipline and organizational skills, and that it was counterproductive if he could not do the same thing. Then I tried to talk to him about the other stuff, and he promptly turned his back, walked away yelling that I always talk down to people and that is my problem, and why people don't like me. I know he was referring to H, and it was a low blow, because yes I suppose I do talk down to XH, and it is not right, but he frustrates me so much. I have tried talking to him like another adult, and he looks at me with this blank look on his face like he does not know what I am talking about. So ultimately I end up losing my cool and speaking to him like he is an idiot because I honestly feel like he needs to have every step broken down for him, or he doesn't get it. He did text and say he was sorry, and I said thanks I was sorry too, even though I was still really upset. THEN he has the nerve to call me back and invite me over for dinner. Oh, yeah, I want to go back and get insulted again, or just spend time with the guy who insulted me.
I know the song...now I am going to have to remember the name of the group!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Thanks Sep...it is like a whole bunch of things just hit me at once, and I feel alone. It used to be that I could talk to H about all of this, but I haven't been able to do that for almost a year, and it is amazing how much I still miss it.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hey Lola! Your not alone, sounds like the DB flu is going around this weekend. Is that the Chubbywumba song? Yeah it sucks, I look out a year from now and go OH SH!T. I just tell myself I can handle it. Because sometimes Im the only one around to say it. It wont last forever. You can handle it. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
CHUMBAWAMBA!!!!!! Tubthumping is the name of the song...now it's stuck in my head!! LoL
In time Lola...in time, hopefully our Hs will be there for us like they used to. Until that time vent away here. It feels good to vent here for me too since I feel like my friends sometimes get sick of my M talk...lol. And at least you guys actually understand what I am going through.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I know the feeling. I felt really bad about the whole church deal, but the first week she was back D12 had activities going on and then I was baptized, which I really felt was important, but she felt I should have put it off. Honestly, I think she wanted me to switch over to her church, but I really like mine. I have not gone to church regularly since ... well gosh since I was a teenager. I have intermittently gone over the years, but this is the first time where I really look forward to going. One of my biggest problems is saying no. I really intended to go to her church, just to check it out because she came to mine (before she found hers, though.) I don't suppose anyone is right or wrong, but I feel bad because I didn't go, but at the same time she won't even speak to me now. I did know how she felt, and because of that I feel bad. I am the type of person who realizes that life sometimes doesn't go the way we want. So if someone needs to cancel or reschedule, it usually doesn't bother me. I am realizing that not everyone feels the same way though.
As for my H, it is what it is, and I know we are making progress, but I really wanted to talk to him, and know right now is SO NOT THE TIME. That makes it hard, he is the person I want to share this stuff with, and right now I can't.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
he drinks a whiskey drink he drinks a vodka drink he drinks a lager drink he drinks a cider drink
he sings songs that remind him of the good times he sings the songs that remind him of the better times
LMAO!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
