Cinders, Your h is a real piece of work. I'm sorry, but he's not listening to one word you've spoken. It's gone in one ear and out the other. He's still trying to make you out to be the bad guy here. Turn the tables on him!
You've stated your piece to this man, so why in the heck would he want to have coffee to discuss it some more? You know what? I wouldn't discuss it any further w/him. Let him stew about it for a while. The more you try to work w/him in a friendship manner, the more he and the ow are walking all over you in a very subtle way. First the web page, now this. Step back and allow that drama of his to play out in his fantasy world.
There's absolutely nothing wrong w/you and yes, you are the children's mother and you have rights and have to look out for them. Do not allow him to play w/your head. It's his way or no way and from where I'm sitting, he's trying to make you feel like you owe him something for what he's done for you and the children. Well, you've been grateful for him in many ways, but that doesn't mean you have to take his bs either.
I think I'd just let him be for a while and wouldn't have coffee w/him. Time for him to be met at the door w/the children when he comes to pick them up. I think you've been more than gracious about the entire situation and now that you are trying to be friends w/him, he's taking advantage of it and will use it for all it's worth to smooth the path for him and the ow. Boundaries need to be set and adhered to and I think it's time you show him what you mean about them. Talking to him will not work...show him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
