x called me out of the blue today. Angry. Wanted to know when he could get the rest of his "stuff." I started off strong, matter-of-fact, stayed on topic...
then it all went to hell.
I'll write it all out later, but for now, I ended up in tears yet again. My face is swollen. MIL, kids, they all saw it before I could rein it in. I ended up in bed, trying to reboot my head, go to sleep and escape the old pain.
So, it is a few hours later. I got up to cook dinner for my kids. Feel hung over. And so much swirling around in my head, again. I really think that x and I have inhabited different planes of existence.
I know that I love him. Even while I know that he isn't any good for me, that we can't be together. And it still hurts to have it thrown in my face how he doesn't love me, can't love me properly.
I just don't want to care, anymore. Maybe I will be wrong about unconditional love, and I won't care, someday. I am so tired.
