It was fun! We had lunch yesterday and today (plus a pint or three). I posted in JWS's thread about it. I consider him a RL friend now, which is great.
I did a lot of thinking this weekend about my sitch. I hung out with my gf last night who's waiting and wanting her bf to change, and saw a lot of myself in her. H came over to pick up a few more things yesterdat, and I just avoided him.
Given our last real interaction, H is off the rails, and it still breaks me up inside, and I can't even explain his behavior to myself and have it make sense. As I told JWS, I have a hard time not believing what he says about me. I advance my confidence, he does or says X, my confidence retreats. I'm having a hard time keeping my anger over it in check--I keep thinking angry thoughts, endlessly needing to come up with an empathetic thought and failing to try to understand why H is being X way.
I guess part of why it keeps sticking with me was the only reason he was 'sorry' was because I was talking about getting a lawyer.
At this point, I am DBing only for myself. Because I need to rebuild myself after the wrecking ball of the last 5 1/2 months. I need to believe in myself again to the point where his spew slides off my back. I need to find my way back to having empathy for him again.
Ugh.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
