Help...I think I did a 180...I hope

[Sophie]

Hi V--Hi:)

Yeah - you did good. I suspect there's an element of him wondering if this is a trap (men are such cynical creatures), but I think the biggest issue is that he's just not himself and he doesn't know how to do it - hence a nudge along with a formal agreement for him to do his bit might help break the status quo.

I agree...H might think I'm full of it. I know I get impatient.

IF he means what he says about reconnecting and being with his kids, I would think he'd jump at any chance to be with them...especially when I appear agreeable and easy going about it!!

I wonder why he doesn't???? H has not called to get together with his kids this entire last year without an excuse of a bday, xmas,halloween, thanksgiving or easter. H did not even ask for them on Father's Day!!! H was devestated that the kids and I did not plan anything for him, yet we hadn't heard from him for over 3 weeks prior.

Are we just the 'starter family'????

Anyway, it just shows how messed up H is. I hurt for him; it's sad that the best I can do for H is leave him alone. That goes against my nature!

As far as scheduling the shared parenting...H isn't interested in 'parenting'...he just wants to 'hang out', go camping, go fishing, etc. One problem is that he must work 50-80 hour weeks, at 1 ,2, or 3 jobs to maintain his seperate life and the 2/3 of the bills here. How is that a better life than we had???


In the end, it's more work for me keeping H on the schedule than to just do it myself.

I think H just doesn't want kids and a marriage. With me, or anyone else.

I wish I had conversations, or interaction between H and I to share with you here. But, I don't.

There is nothing. H is absent.

Take care of you, V:)

Thanks for checking in on me from time to time. I'm not too happy being on these boards. I don't know how to communicate....so I just read how everyone else is coping.