What are some of the things that are WORKING for you?
For my R with H: responding enthusiastically to his suggestions for outings, initiating contact, complimenting him, really listening without judgement or offering help/solutions, not asking any questions about us/him/the R, and NEVER thinking about the aubergine. Asking H for advice, letting H decide on date venues and times, and then complimenting him profusely on his choices.
For me: laughing, working hard, seeing my family, buying new clothes, dancing, singing, eating all my veggies, painting my nails, doing my hair cut, talking to my friends, playing with my niece and nephew, doing DB experiments and recording the results, listening to music, having tidy eyebrows, trying new make-up colours, baking and jumping on my mini-trampoline while I watch soaps on TV.
Originally Posted By: sgctxok
What kind of communication is working?
E-mails (until the S we never used to e-mail. Now we do every day, sometimes a few times a day) Text (still experimenting with this) Phone on occassion Face to face. This works best in general. H is gradually increasing his eye contact (after months of patient waiting and looking at him lovingly). He's also gradually laughing and smiling more.
Originally Posted By: sgctxok
Does it help to vary the time or place?
E-mail is best with a quick response. Any delays get mirrored back. Face-to-face works both spontaneously and planned Texts: experimenting with sending a couple at weekends at the moment. This is getting better so I'm going to keep trying it. Phone: I experimented with a spontaneous phone call to him a couple of weeks ago which worked well and led to a chat followed by a mini-date and H giving me a kiss. I need to try this again at a time when I think H might be free. H calls me less now than he used to so I'd like to improve this area as phone used to be one of our main modes of communication (H is more chatty on the phone than under any other conditions).
Other things that are working:
Being extremely patient Focussing on my own picnic and letting H deal with his Trying a bit of flirting. We're playing a game where we have to think of alternative names for naughty bits that H seems to be engaging with and I hope is making him think of me and naughty bits at the same time. Mwahahaha (evil laugh)
