Don't be so hard on yourself. We've all snooped and at times got more than we bargained for. The thing is, (for me anyway)that initially it hurt to see these things in black and white, but they also helped me to drop the rope and move on. Every piece of information gives us another piece of the puzzle. Realizing that there is not a darn thing we can do is also healing.
You are right though, you're wife has a whole other set of problems and I would bet my life that they have nothing to do with you. Well except for the fact that she thinks that it's you that's standing between her and her happiness. Too bad that her "happiness" doesn't include what's best for your children. That right there screams of a person who's out there looking for anything that will take her pain away.
