Well I have a little bit to update. My hubby came over yesterday to hang out. It was later than expected and while I was not going to call because I did not want to seem desperate or pursuing I ended up calling late in the day because I was thinking maybe he had forgotten. Turns out he had a family thing come up and did not think it would take as long as it did. I still don't see why he could not have called me to tell me but then again we never set a time to get together it was kinda an up in the air plan. Oh well. The phone call was like a minute long and he left about an hour later. So he did not get here until like 5 or something. Which bummed me out because I wanted to spend more time with him but I'll take what I can get.
I was finishing up watching a movie when he got here so we waited until it was over and then left to go to the store because he needed something and I had to get a few things as well. We had a little relationship talk on the way there because he had mentioned that he had aquired a table, chairs, and dresser that morning from his grandparents who are moving out of their house. It irritated me because here we are getting closer and closer (or so I thought) to getting back together but he is still talking about moving out on his own. It just bothered me and he could tell (I did not say anything at first but he has always been able to read me and picked up on the fact that something was wrong) and asked me why I was upset. I just explained that I was confused by what is going on because I think things are going well and I don't understand why he would move out on his own when it seems like we should be thinking about finding a way to move in together again. He was not surprised that I was thinking that but at the same time did not really seem like he wanted to commit to making a plan or even admitting the need for a plan. Which frustrated me further. We ended up talking about things a little bit more and he listened to what I had to say but did not add much of his own thoughts or feelings to the conversation. Anyways eventually we dropped it.
We got some dinner and then came back to the house and he showed me something on my computer and we watched part of a movie but stopped halfway because he was sleeping pretty much the whole time. Nothing too exciting.
He did wake up long enough to ML and then I asked if he would stay with me for awhile and he did. A little more relationship talk and when I was asking when he would know if we could work this out, he said "that is what wednesday is for." Meaning our counseling session where we are supposed to give our lists.
Sigh.
I am just feeling a little down today. I thought we were really close to piecing, and maybe we still are, but it feels like some of our progress was not as big as I had thought at first. Because he still seems confused and unsure of everything. Which is fine, I guess. I told him that I did not want him to rush into a decision because I didn't want him to have any regrets later on. And it's true. If he wants to have a marriage with me again then it is going to have to be forever. I won't end up in this situation again. It's too hard. So I guess it is good that he is taking time and really thinking it over but I'm so impatient. Right now I am happy and just want to be together all the time again. Well not all the time but you know what I mean.
I don't know. I'm having a hard time sorting this all out in my head. Hopefully Wednesday will be a good day to get some more of this nailed down. Now I just have to wait. My favorite!
