Hey Phil, glad you had a good day with the kids. That's the best thing for them right now. Be with them and have fun with them. They will remember this time, they will remember you being the one they could rely on. This is important. Seriously, 20 years from now they will look back and remember that you were they for them at this time. Be there.
You are also getting some good advice here. What Bill said might be scary but it's the right thing. IRMAC, I have said the Lord's Prayer so many times over the past 2 years, I cannot even count them. That is how I get through the day, sometimes. Just rhythmically praying it over and over and over.
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The flipping part. She said why don't you please give me a divorce. I said do it yourself. You don't have the intelligence to do it.
The first response was a good one - "do it yourself." Absolutely the right attitude and response. If she wants a divorce she can go and get one. There's no "giving" here. If you want to be funny you can say "you know what? I would 'give' you a divorce but I don't have one. You'll have to get it yourself." If you want to be serious and empathetic you can say, "I don't feel that is necessary right now, but if that's what you want to do, I cannot stop you." There are a million ways to say "it's your choice; do it yourself."
The second part, the insult, was not the right thing to say. If that is how you really feel, why do you want to be married to her? Seems to me you're hurt and you are lashing out at her, insulting her. It's not going to do any good to pick a fight. It will make her feel better about divorce. And putting myself in her shoes, I wouldn't want to be married to someone who thinks of me that way -- "not intelligent enough". I cannot imagine that is attractive to her.
ps: This is not me "smashing Phil". It is like football practice. you missed a block, your guy got tackled. Now what should you do better next time?
