I'd have to go back and read your entire sitch again, paying particular note to who hold what "cards", power- and legal-wise, but basically I think what you can expect from her next is WILD mood swings toward you and the kids. Toward the kids, she will go from what you saw last night and totally ignoring them, to what I call "St. Mrs. Yenko" mode, complete with a fake syrupy-sweet voice.
Toward YOU you can expect wild swings as well. As you stand up to her, you will at first get her venom spewing, but then you may see her be nice as hell, as recently as a day after. Sometimes they'll stew for a few weeks, but as you stand up to her, and then successfully detach, she WILL make some moves toward you, in all likelihood.
You are NOT giving up, Yenk -- not if you don't want to. You ARE letting go.
