Regarding Dublin, I need to tell him when I'm planning to go to the house, as I assume he won't want to be there given the things he's said about being under the same roof as me. This will give him the option to be there or not be there. I only have 1.5 days, so have to go right away and pick up my green card...Other than that specific timing though, you're right I'll just say something like "I'm going to be in town Monday afternoon through Wednesday, and I am planning to come by the house Monday around 1230 PM to pick up some stuff and see the pets. Let me know if there are any issues with the timing."
Jody said I should try playing the game of cat and mouse more with my H, as he clearly wants to be in control, and it will be a real 180 for me not to always be receptive to him, not to always be anxiously waiting around for him to make a move. He didn't give me a specific time on Wednesday to call, so unless he IMs me earlier in the day to set one up, I think I will just plan to go to the gym (my one true form of GAL at the moment)on Wednesday evening, and if he calls outside of that time, I will take the call. Maybe it was a bit harsh of me to say that I was fine and didn't need a schedule, when he was actually making an effort...however I really actually don't need a schedule. I'd rather feel that he calls me when he wants to call me, and not because he said he'd make a schedule. At this point I can't be sure, so I'd like everything to come from him.
He is trying to prepare me for the fact that he will want more time apart, but I think he's also trying to get back at me in a way. He originally said he wanted 6 months, and I said I could go away for 3. He says he is taking things one day at a time, but he's already projecting out into October. I guess what I'm saying about when I get back is that I want him to at least be open to the idea that maybe he can have space and time under the same roof as me and not completely shut down about it already. I won't pressure him about it, but I would like him to at least be open to it, as we do need to start spending time together to see if things are going to work out. From my perspective too, which I can't tell him, I have stock money in October meant to go towards his school (since we always shared finances). I just can't do this if things are up in the air. We just won't have the money for another apartment either. I can't count on my employer to put me up again...I'm in the awkward situation of being an expat in a country I wouldn't want to stay in if things weren't going to work out, so I would hope he would be in a position to be a bit more flexible, but I know I can't force anything. I just also believe that we will be in a much better position to have a chance at fixing the M if we are under the same roof. Anyway I am really trying not to think that far out too, and Jody says a whole lot can happen in that time frame, and even in 2 weeks, so I am going to try to stick to 1-2 week timeframes now and see how this works for me...I am getting sick just thinking about October now...
OK thanks for posting. I am trying to be positive now in all of my thoughts and posts, and I really appreciate you mentioning the positives that you see. It really helps for someone impartial to notice those things.
I hope you're having a good day!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
