HI everyone....well...it hit me yesterday....REALITY!!!
H goes for his genetic testing on Wednesday....I can't seem to get my focus off that....would love to hear it's not his but I am not very hopeful about that one....I am gathering the money to file to protect me and my children....I DO NOT want this as a joint debt.....my home will be paid for in 6 years and I don't want them to be able to get it...
H has been very kind this past week...I'm sure because of what is coming and I'm sure he thinks I'll be kinder in the D if he's nice to me...NOT!!!It's not that I want to be mean I just want to live the life I've lived for the past 30 years....it's only fair....he has been taking son to practice and is picking him up for me out of town today....doing more for me.....and I am positive it is all because of what's coming down....he knows it's going to hurt all over again when the results come back and it is going to change our life forever!....he still believes that the judge will make sure he has money to live....all about him again....well if we need both incomes to survive now how in the heck does he think he's going to get his own place and now have another kid to support.....and if they make him pay back support he'll be living with someone the rest of his life....
I have a question for anyone who knows about legal stuff....can't I sue her for emotional distress....she slept with my H and had a kid....now my children and I are distressed...I'm on meds...D16 may need to get on them....talk to someone....something....we are all numb....H has even been calling the girls or texting them every day since the letter came...my D21 wanted to know what was going on...so I told her...she said, "that explains why dad keeps texting me"...of course the girls don't respond....very sad...the whole situation...I am still trying to figure out how I get out of bed in the morning....Is this going to hit me really hard one day and shut me down? I'm scared.....OF EVERYTHING!! I can't afford to live on my income...and why should I have to get a new job...I love the one I have.....and I'm with my kids when they are out of school....and all summer with them....
Well....that's where I am at this point...I guess no further than I was the other day....just panicing trying to get money together to go retain my lawyer....
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, I'm sorry you are under this stressful situation. The judge most likely will look at what he's making, the current situation of him being separated from you and make a determination as to how much he should pay. Someone is going to have to step up to the plate and advise the judge that you two are separated. I don't blame you in seeking a lawyer's advice. You don't want that woman coming in for some of what you've worked so hard to achieve in life.
I suspect, if the child is his, he's going to be paying for some back support for a long time. I'm just surprised it's taken this long for this to hit the fan. Then again, maybe she's hoping to get his undivided attention. I guess we'll never know or understand the workings of this woman's mind.
I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Try to stay calm. I realize it's hard to do when faced with this type of crisis, but getting emotionally worked up and stressing you out and creating health issues for you. Please, please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I don't think you can sue for emotional distress but my SIL, the lawyer told me that the judge can order him to get a second job if he is unable to pay what the court orders.
I am sorry you will have to go thru this and I feel for your kids as well. Your H is going to pay the price the rest of his life.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi.....well yesterday was S11 baseball games....H picked us up at 8:15 and I didn't even ask him too....he told me the night before he would pick us up....so I just said ok...
we went to the games...he carried my chair, the cooler, everything...I carried nothing....strange....we talked a little during the games...he's a coach so just small talk...he can look at me and give me the look and I know what he is thinking....he did that yesterday and I knew it was about a part of the game...gosh I really do know him....he got his coaches shirt and changed his shirt...chubby middle but I just smiled to myself....then he threw his other shirt over the fence to my chair...got drinks out of the cooler I brought....it was a nice day....
When we left we came back to the house and S11 had to shower so H could take him back to the campgrounds with his friends....I went upstairs to help son gather clothes and when I came down H was laying on the couch watching TV, and in his normal spot on the couch....not on the other side like a visitor....I may be reading a lot into this but it was just strange...when S11 was done D16 was ready for me to take her shopping so I asked H to move his car but they were ready to leave so we all left.....
I took D16 shopping, got her ears pierced, and double pierced...looks cute...then I took her to dinner....wanted to spend some one on one time with her...she drove...yikes!!! she needs more practice
When I got home I went up to shower and I had texted H a little while before to see if they arrived safely to campgrounds...it's about an hour and a half away....he texted back about 30 minutes later with what had happened when they arrived and how they couldn't find them, etc....made me laugh...just like old times....he was joking about stuff..in text of course....he texted me about 15 times....never done that...I just responded upbeat...not much talk and then I said be careful driving home...and he ended with.."I will...later",,that's it....haven't talked since....
My mind is going crazy.....I know I need to file, to protect my kids....I think he is being nice cause he wants me to go easy on him....I say that's too late but on the other hand.....GOSH,,,,I miss him...WHY?..when I see him I want to jump him...I am still attracted to him even with his middle....I want to just go up and kiss him, hug him....YIKES!!!!!!!!! I think I'm just sexually frustrated....LOL!!!!!
Could he miss me? I really haven't talked to him much...been kind of ignoring him since the letter thing....he goes to court Wednesday....now when those results come in...it will be like going over this allllll over again....
Thoughts anyone
Last edited by Treese; 09/01/0801:33 PM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, I wouldn't read too much into his behavior of yesterday. He could have been having one of those moments of sanity, whereby he wanted to just enjoy the day w/his family. Time will tell on whether this behavior will continue or not.
I'm sure your daughter enjoyed getting her ears pierced and will have fun changing out the earrings. As for her driving, take her out on a nice quiet back road and let her practice. How are her parking skills? I'm sure, you as the teacher, will be very patient with her.
I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He knows what he has done has been very wrong and he will live with that the rest of his life. My H has told me several times this year that what he has done is so painful and no one could ever know the pain he is talking about unless they have done what he has done. It is all internal--the pain.
For yours and the kids sakes, you could still be nice, keep your distance and do what it is you say you are going to do (file).
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I would take it one day at a time. Like Snodderly said don't think nothing of the day yesterday. Keep doing what you are doing. Yes, there is a good chance that he is missing his family, but with MLC (as you now know)things change ALOT!
My h used to do the same things and then revert back to his awful MLC self. Give it time.
Morning.....well today is the day.....the day H goes for genetic testing...he should actually be there now....I'm sure he is as nervous as I am...but it's the past...I can't change it....all I can do is be the loving, caring person I have always been....I've grown I think through this whole mess....I hope i am able to provide for my children and to move forward from this day on....my children deserve happiness and so do I....I will put my best foot forward to close that chapter of my life....I love my H....yes, I do...with all my heart....I promised that the day I married him...lucky him....but he is no longer in love with me so I guess I let go....it's time to protect what means the most in my world and that is my children....they are my life....and I will do whatever it takes to protect them....
So...if you all could please keep us in your prayers today I would deeply be grateful....
God Bless....Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Take care of yourself and your kids. This is your husband's cross to bear. He is now having to pay the consequences for what he did and continues to do.
I am thinking of you.............
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
but I just smiled to myself....then he threw his other shirt over the fence to my chair...got drinks out of the cooler I brought....it was a nice day....