I'm sorry your daughter had to witness all that, and I'm sorry for all of your pain. It truly does SUKK, I understand.
I think you're seeing the reaction of an addict when you try to take away their drug. To a wayward spouse, their cellphone is their #1 tool to connect them to the object of their addiction -- the OM/OW. For you to not pay for it -- while entirely right -- sets her off. But you did the right thing.
Am I to understand that you two had sex this past week? I can see where that would have messed with your emotions, and it's why I don't recommend it (anti-DB, but I'm sorry). And if you DO, I would CERTAINLY strongly advise that you use protection, as you have no idea what OM's sexual/health history is.
You handled yourself pretty well. Sounds like you remained calm, and for the MOST part didn't "rescue" her from her pain. You did a couple of times, but SO much better than before. Good job!
I would encourage you to continue to do what's best for your daughters, and for you right now. Placating your wife didn't work anyway (she still ended up vile and full of anger toward you, and even her own child). In every situation that presents itself, strive instead to simply DO THE RIGHT THING.
Today will be a key day. She's going to see if you try to rescue her or pursue her in any way, since she is in pain. Resist the temptation. Never shelter an adulterer from the consequences of their infidelity, no matter how hard it is. Focus instead on your kids.
