I might have a somewhat different situation than most in that I do have nearly constant contact with my WAH, by his choice. We IM at least every other day. I think he is being very honest and open with me (too much so in some cases), so if he decided to recommit, I would probably trust his commitment to me, but I am not sure how I would react initially.
That said though, like BH, I am starting to feel a bit angry. I think it is a natural part in the process where after we have actually made the needed changes, and are working so hard, we see that the the WAS is still hardened to us, and it gets to be really hard to handle.
I am not sure how your contact was with your H when you were the WAS, how open and honest you were through the process, and what kind of things you said to him. If you said some very hurtful things, no matter how justified, I think it is only natural that his anger would start to build. I think that I have to go back to what has been said so many times on this board that it would be the actions that counted. If H said he wanted to recommit, it would take me seeing the actions that backed this up for quite some time before my anger subsided. I also think anger is based in fear, fear of getting hurt again. He is probably afraid to open up to you again. Are there actions that you can take, things that you can do to show him how sincere you are? Is it a 180 for you to express your feelings? Could you try writing him a letter? Have you spoken to a DB coach yet?
Unfortunately I do think LRT might be the only way to reach him, unless there are other 180s that involve contact.
Have you been begging and pleading? While it may not be fair, if he is angry, he might actually feel that you have this coming after what he feels you put him through. I could only imagine that if H were to suddenly offer to recommit, there would be a big part of me that would want to test him, would want to see how far he was willing to go. However, if he just went dark on me after all of this, I would definitely still take him back, and I'd probably panic a little.
Hope this is somewhat useful...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
