We're never getting back together-How do you cope?

[native]

No thread. Haven't posted my whole story yet. I've only chimed in when I thought I could contribute, but believe me, I've been reading other people's posts to glean as much wisdom as I can.

My w announced she wanted a seperation in mid April 08, and finally moved out in the first week of August.

As far as the party goes, how many of the guys are single ? I imagine most are married and have kids and though she may flirt with them, they won't take the bait.

If they are mature they will think that her behavior is out of line and they will ignore it.

As far as the depressed guy, well...even if something does come of that, how long do you think it will last ? Two depressed people don't make one happy one.

Really, I know it's hard to practice, but NOTHING good comes from worrying.

Ignore her immature behavior and have a great time. Focus on your son and be the best dad for your kid, the best host for your guests. Tell jokes,make people laugh...just go into this thing telling yourself it is all going to be ok.

And don't assume she will be flirting with everyone. Sounds like fear talking. In fact I would pretty much ignore her actions except to flash her a mysterious smile every now and then. Keep her guessing about you.

I know that is easy to say but what else can you do ? I think that's how I would try to go into this type of situation.

Your good behavior will only make her immature behavior that much more obvious to her and everyone else.

Let me ask you something. Do you think that your wife ever felt you valued anything else, relationship, work, kids, etc. over her ? I mean, she wants to feel special, to be treated like a princess and to be desired. The flirting is really to reassure herself that she is still desirable. That's my best guess anyway.

Right now she is in a really weird place. She isn't the woman you first met. The flirting makes her feel desirable. Let her go through her craziness. Just don't go there with her, don't be drawn into her drama, reacting to every thing she does. If you have to step outside to get a breath of fresh air, do that.

Keep yourself busy at the party. Don't give yourself a lot of time to dwell on her actions. Choose to focus on others and your kid.

In the meantime, get that e-book I told you about and start reading. Also, do the introspection about how you may have contributed to her unhappiness. Even if you didn't know any better then, apologise for it, preferrably in writing.

Don't try to get her to be responsible for her own behavior. Taking responsiblity for your own is enough.

And if your have faith, pray for her. She is lost and confused. In any case, if you pray for her, it will help you from becoming bitter and angry about how she is affecting everyone with her choices.