I dont know how to do that quote thing so excuse me if you have to refer back to your response to me.
Absolutely your wifes had nothing to do with anything except a lack of commitment and respect for you and your marriage. For a long long time I did not see this. I thought the other guy was just what i was looking for in amte. It was exciting etc etc.
It was not until i decided to make a go of my marriage that I analysed what had allowed me to have A. I can tell you that is was exactly lack of commitment. I thought everyone else had these fab marriages and that I did not. Trouble is now I know that i did and it was my choosing not to see what i had in my H that blocked it.
HAVING SAID THAT THERE IS SOMETHING TERRIBLY WRONG WHEN ONE OF YOU LOOKS OUTSIDE THE MARRIAGE. Choosing to have an affair is one selfish way of expressing it - bit like suicide I guess. You are wanting attention but you choose a negative way of getting it. I ask myself why did i not just pack up all my husbands clotes and throw them out and then take up with the OM. He was willing to do that to his marriage. I did not do that because deep down you are not sure or certain that your marriage is over. Then you get caught and I can tell you that I wanted so much to just never see my H again. I had no feelings for him . He was so devastated though I did not want him hurting himself so I toughed it out and it was tough. He wanted to be married I did not but he also wanted gory details and explanations and I could not be bothered giving them. But knew I had to.
So where your wife is concerned she has to learn that or her next relationship must go that way. Better that your around i think for her to see what she has given up.
I saw a bit of my H over the weekend but no progress made at all. We took one of our daughters to airport this morning and he just made a dig about a new dress I was wearing. Makes me angry. I actually got dressed nicely to look good for him. I do have my own business and I work really hard. He begrudges me anything.
I almost feel in the last week a move away from him. He is pushing me away. I cannot understand why he does not want to keep the family together.
The time to forgive is when it seems impossible to do so
