Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 13 1 2 3 4 5 6 12 13
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
It's part of the script. They want to "normalize" the relationship as much as possible, so introducing them to the kids is one of the steps. They like to imagine the children accepting them, the in-laws too, and the left-behind spouse being best friends and everybody living happily ever after.

Their fantasy rarely focuses on the intense pain involved, for all concerned -- including themselves.

Puppy

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
It's part of the script. They want to "normalize" the relationship as much as possible, so introducing them to the kids is one of the steps. They like to imagine the children accepting them, the in-laws too, and the left-behind spouse being best friends and everybody living happily ever after.

Their fantasy rarely focuses on the intense pain involved, for all concerned -- including themselves.

Puppy

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,896
K
karen43 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,896
I think the in-laws will be fine, they all have had multiple divorces so it's kind of normal for them to do that. And my kids are so sweet they probably will too. And the OW's kids have been through it a few times already so normal for them too. Kind of sad though.

I just had kind of a weird experience. I watched "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" on TBS. It was like watching a movie of my life except I'm not wealthy of course! But the H is a lawyer and he talks to his W like my H talks to me. It was horrible seeing it. Wow! Karen


Me 53
D18, S24
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
It's part of the script. They want to "normalize" the relationship as much as possible, so introducing them to the kids is one of the steps. They like to imagine the children accepting them, the in-laws too, and the left-behind spouse being best friends and everybody living happily ever after.

Their fantasy rarely focuses on the intense pain involved, for all concerned -- including themselves.

Puppy

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,283
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,283
Hey Puppy, how did you do THAT?

That was a new one.

karen, your H is SUCH a dick.

And you KNOW your pancakes are WAY better, because they have something his don't.

Love, girl. Love.

So besides worrying about your kids yesterday, did you do something new?

You need to.


Me 47, WW 38
SS18, D15, D10

Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08

"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."



Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,371
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,371
(((Karen))) The Disneyland Dad period fades. If she is not the mom type then her interest in the kids will fade as well. I can't believe what an ass he is being. Your kids are very sweet, but they have you as a mom, so they will not be fooled by this.

Take a look on my thread if you want surreal.

(((((hugs))))))


M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
~~~~~~~
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option


Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,474
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,474
Karen - I can sooo relate to what you are going through. It just makes me sick when stbx/ow step over the line. ow LOVES to do Mommy stuff for my daughter. It sends me through the roof every time!!!!

They ARE trying to make everything seem so great and wonderful and "normal". See how happy they are and how "worth it" it was to break up a family?? UGH!!! My stbx thinks I'm somehow poisoning D4 against him when in reality she gets mad at him because he keeps leaving her!! They just don't want to see all of the pain they are causing everyone, do they??

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,283
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,283
Originally Posted By: lovelyolive
Karen - I can sooo relate to what you are going through. It just makes me sick when stbx/ow step over the line. ow LOVES to do Mommy stuff for my daughter. It sends me through the roof every time!!!!

They ARE trying to make everything seem so great and wonderful and "normal". See how happy they are and how "worth it" it was to break up a family?? UGH!!! My stbx thinks I'm somehow poisoning D4 against him when in reality she gets mad at him because he keeps leaving her!! They just don't want to see all of the pain they are causing everyone, do they??


They just don't realize how smart the kids are about everything. When they met 'him' because he helped her bring some furniture, they knew better. She told them he was a 'friend', but they weren't dumb. They kept hearing her accidentally calling him babe and it was the six year old that called her on it. She came up with some bullsh*t that she was just so used to calling ME babe, that it was just a habit. She even tried to tell ME that. I kept thinking to myself, "I've got copies of your emails and I've seen your texts and I've heard ya'll voice mails". Lying b*tch. Hasn't called ME that in a YEAR!

They understand way more than they think. It confuses them. It boggles the mind how stupid ass WW's can be. I told mine to D me before she does that to the girls

Sorry, but my kids meeting OM sent me through the roof.


Me 47, WW 38
SS18, D15, D10

Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08

"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."



Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,896
K
karen43 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,896
Yeah, I know my S14 has told me he knows that's Dad's girlfriend. Teaching him it's ok to have a girlfriend when married and lie about it to your kids; great role model!!! They're also sweet, accepting kids now, but I wonder when they get older and more understanding if that will cause some kind of rift between the kids and their dad. They are both pretty religious and good so their dad's actions don't fit in with that; but they're sweet & loving so they will probably forgive him!

You know H bought 4 or 5 things for D8 this weekend and then we went to Walmart for groceries yesterday and I probably shouldn't have, wasn't even thinking, but when D8 wanted a toy lizard I let her get it b/c it was 80 cents and I'm always normally telling them no, can't afford it. I wasn't even thinking about all the stuff H had gotten her or I might have said no maybe. The funny thing is all the toys he gave her she slept with the lizard last night. \:\) Karen


Me 53
D18, S24
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,896
K
karen43 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,896
Quote:
And you KNOW your pancakes are WAY better, because they have something his don't.

Love, girl. Love.

So besides worrying about your kids yesterday, did you do something new?

You need to.
Yeah, love and maybe it's the chocolate chips I put in them also??? \:\)

I haven't done anything new yet, I also think I might have an ear infection. It started hurting a few days ago and now that side of my face is hurting so maybe I'll have to go to the dr. this week-yuck! But I do plan to start trying yoga classes this week (Tuesday and Thursday) and start being a political volunteer Friday nights. A new Bible study is starting at the church on Sunday night and that starts in 2 weeks. I've got TKD on Monday & Wed., so that leaves only Saturday night free! I'm tired just thinking of it all! \:\) How's your GALing going??? Karen


Me 53
D18, S24
Page 4 of 13 1 2 3 4 5 6 12 13

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2026. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5