I'm sure that I disappoint you all by not being 'detached' enough by now, but I'm just human and sometimes this stuff really hurts.
I think I can speak for all who come here and tell you that your feelings are not something that can be turned on and off at the drop of a hat.
What you are going through is healthy and when yo get to the other side of this painful hurt that was handed to you, YOU are the one that will be in a healthy relationship with those around you be it a man or not because you worked on you and did not go the dirty band-aid route
