Happy birthday. It is hard to go through special days like birthdays and holidays that the spouse used to be a part of. I'm glad you had a nice day with friends. Sometimes its better to just not talk about it, you know? Just get some rest. Tomorrow will be another day.
Thanks Sara. I am in a better mood today. I KNOW I am very blessed with the amount of love I have in my life. Like you said, special days are the hardest.
When I got home, I opened up the present my S got me. He is soooo considerate and sweet. He bought me a necklace and a bracelet beause he thinks I am beautiful and wanted me to feel pretty (BTW, I left him the money so he could go shopping. He wanted to do something for me and I did not want him to feel bad for not having the money). AWWWWW!!! H did not get anything for me, but that just tells me where we are at. He did stick around for a couple of minuites to talk about S, but he seemed a little distant. He wanted to know what I did last night for my Bday and I told him where I went but not with who. He downloaded some songs that I had asked him if I could have, so that is a positive, and he told me he was going to cut the grass Tuesday night.
I left the concert tickets out in a spot where he could see them, hoping he would mention something about them again. He did not say anything so I am just droping the idea that he might go. Just looking at it as it is still too early for that. THere will be other oportunities in the future. I am being upbeat and positive and happy while around him. I walk out of the room first and say good bye first, but always thank him when he is doing something for me. This entire process is really teaching me what it means to have patience. Sometimes it feels like any progress is moving at a snails pace.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Ready, I agree. I try to live my life with gratitude and graciousness. Sometimes, the weight of the journey we are traveling gets to me and I let the negative thoughts in. This means that my focus has just shifted to the "prize" at the end of the tunnel. This type of thinking only breeds discontent. Instead, I need to be thankful for the steps I have already taken and see that things have gotten better. This is not something that is going to happen over night and I need to learn to have more patients and faith that good things will come.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Awww what a sweet gift from your S! That was a nice way for you to handle it too, leaving him some money so he could still do something for you.
Quote:
This is not something that is going to happen over night and I need to learn to have more patients and faith that good things will come.
I totally agree...
and please remember, it may not happen at all, so keep that focus on making your future great, for you, no matter what. I hope that you'll reconcile and it sure looks positive, but when you're keeping your eye on that "prize" - remember the prize is a happy life for you.
(((BH))))
Hope you're having a good Sunday!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Here are links to SallyM's last two threads. Start with the first one... it starts "I'm, um, sally, and I'm getting a divorce." Sally's getting a D
And you can read what led up to this one.. which starts off with Sally explaining to her H exactly what she needs for them to make a go of it again... and as of the last update, they were doing wonderfully well. Sally and her H are reconciled
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Nik and Ready, you both are so wonderful. The dedication you have put forth to help others like me is truly inspirational. You can never know the depth of gratitude I feel towards you for your sage advice. I found a small book that I was ready about a man's journey to becoming a buddhist monk. I copied this quote because it rings so true to my sitch and hopefully it will ring true for others here as well:
"When someone is searching," said Siddhartha, "then it might easily happen that the only thing his eyes still see is that what he searches for, that he is unable to find anything, to let anything enter his mind, because he always thinks of nothing but the object of his search, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed by the goal. Searching means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal. You, oh venerable one, are perhaps indeed a searcher, because, striving for your goal, there are many things you don't see, which are directly in front of your eyes."
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
