So it has been a long couple of weeks. A lot has happened and a lot of things will be happening in the near future.
Tawny still has not spoken with her mom. It will be 2 weeks tomorrow. She is doing better, she has been making a considerable effort to help out around the house and make things better for us. She referred to us as roommates the other day, which I found a bit funny.
I filed for sole custody of tawny and the papers should be served this coming week sometime. I also filed a response saying that I object to Carrie moving to Mississippi under grounds that it will be detrimental to Ross.
I also filed a request for mediation to end this thing and try and get some resolution. I wrote an email to Carrie's lawyer basically telling him to quit milking her for money and that if he costs me anymore money in responses to ridiculous offers made by him and my wife that I will file a civil suit against him for my lawyers fees.
Ross came to me and told me that Carrie told him that she was dating the OM. He said that she told him they have been dating for 2 months. He said that he didnt believe her and that he thought it was much longer. He asked me if OM and I aren't friends because they were dating before that. I asked him if he understood what that meant and he said yes. He started crying and was upset. I told Ross that sometimes people make mistakes and that his mom and OM made one as well.
He wanted to know if OM is the reason that Mom and I are getting divorced. I told him that what happened with mom and OM was one of reason but that there were other reasons as well. I told him that it was ok to be allright with OM and that I would not ever be angry or upset that he is. He asked me if I am still friends with OM and I told him that OM and I are not friends anymore.
I hate that she lied to him, but then again I guess it would be hard to actually tell him the truth of what had happened. I am not quite sure why she even fealt the need to tell him at all right now that she is dating. He said he didn't ask her, so why even tell him right now? Since she chose to tell him, I will not allow her to lie about what that relationship is. She needs to own up to it. She is just so damn lost.
Yesterday was our 16th anniversary. I didn't really think much about it, I was very busy at work thank goodness. Last night my girlfriend came over and cooked me dinner and just hung out for the night. Tawny was supposed to stay at a friends house but when she found out Jaqueline would be over at the house she surprised us by coming home after the movie. She has wanted to meet her since she got home from Colorado.
It was pretty awkward, both Tawny and Jackie were very nervous with each other. Both of them were pretty much red faced and didn't say much. I have to admit it was a little difficult for me as well. I really didn't know what to say or do. They said hi to each other and then Tawny and her 2 friends went up to her room. Jackie made them a plate of Papoosas (A traditional dish of El Salvador) and sent me upstairs with it.
I guess the food lightened the mood because Tawny and the girls came downstairs and spent some time just hanging out with us. Another hurdle overcome I guess.
Overall I think I am doing ok. I still get frustrated somewhat, and I do have moments where I find myself drifting off and thinking about all this stuff with Tawny and her mom. Then I just snap myself out of it and move on with my day. I guess I just want all this legal crap to get over so I can move on completely and have my life back. It will happen someday......
I am glad that Tawny seems to have settled down. I went through the same thing with my son as you have with Ross, and still struggle with him knowing. I couldn't stomach the lies told to the kids.
How far away does Carrie want to move? I don't blame you for trying to keep Ross closer to you than that. The legal stuff just sucks. All around.
She wants to move to Southaven, MS, It is about 20 miles away. The biggest gripe I have with it is that Ross will have to get up 40 minutes earlier for school, around 5:15 every morning. Then drive 45 minutes to school every day.
The reason for the objection to the move is that I need them to give me primary custodial rights to prevent Carrie from registering Ross in school in MS next year. Unfortunately I can'tput it past her to do that.
sorry tawny is going through all this crap with her mom
remember
you are NOT her roommate
don't let her think that way...it puts her in an adult role and she is stilla little girl and wants to be one...to be taken care of and worried over...which I know you do but don't lket her say those things without correcting it.
a roommate smokes and drinks and brings "friends" over to spend the night
roommates are on equal footing
but you know all that...my teacher instinct just flared up!!
it's hard but you are doing good...it will get easier (which brings a whole new set of pangs too)
Well Fig, you and Lissie saying that to me in the past is what immediately popped into my head. Tawny understands that we are roommates to a point. That she has rules to follow and that I am the parent and she is the child. It was very easy to correct, I asked her where her rent money was at she got the point.
She has figured out that her freedoms and ability to do what she wants is based on her behavior. She knows that she has responsibilities that dictate our day to day routine. She knows she must keep her room clean, her bathroom clean, and help with the dishes. She knows her GPA must stay at or above a 3.0 in order to go out on weekends.
I keep the rules pretty straight forward for her. I figured you would jump at that comment figgy
