Jak, When dancing last night with a lady, she expressed outrage about my W's behavior the other night, complaining about how the waiter took the salad dressing. The lady said that my W "should get her own damn salad next time."
I appreciate the validation, however I don't want to triangle people into our R. I told her that time had passed, and that I had moved on.
My W and I attended private lessons at the studio where we are learning a new dance. Since it is a new dance, I'm having difficulty. We taped the lessons so we could review the instructions later, so that essential steps would not be lost.
Later that afternoon, my W wanted me to practice the steps. I told her that I needed to review the tape first. She insisted, saying that if I don't accept her help, than she won't help me further.
I was trapped. I wasn't ready for practice. It didn't go well, because I wasn't sure what I was doing. My W got angry with me for not having a smile one my face, stating that I'm smiling when I dance with other ladies. She said that she will no longer practice that particular dance with me.
I'll let time pass. She can't help herself but to help me.
I've started printing and giving to my W positive articles on smoking cessation. I gave her an article on the significant benefits to lung functioning from smoking cessation.
I get a weekly e-newsletter from the American Lung Association. I had stopped reading them, but it seems like the time to start educating myself on smoking cessation now that my W is expressing interest in quitting smoking again.
Like any difficult problem, it helps to think of moving towards smoking cessation in baby steps. Even cutting down is a step in the right direction.
There are smoking cessation programs in the area, and support groups. Joining one would be too big a step for her. I will praise her for any small step she will attempt.
We've been dancing so much together these past two months. It makes her happy. She can't seem to get enough of it. She works hard at improving herself. I don't make any comments about the money she spends on private lessons. I think it's money well-spent.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
