I understand completely what you are going through. Is it the not knowing that is eating you up? Do you feel you just need answers to continue? I was thinking about my sitch the other day, and I know everyone's different, but I thought about how I would actually feel if I knew for sure my h was seeing someone else. Those feelings would be pretty devastated and I'm not sure I could carry on effectively DBing at this crucial time. ITH suggested to me to act as if there was no other woman and I have found that pretty helpful.
Would it really be a 180 to serve her with evidence, or is that what you would just like to do? A kind of revenge thing? Don't you think showing her how strong you are, and what a great father you are and how she is the one who is missing out would be a better form - just my opinion.
I know it must feel like she can't see the changes but if, as you say the rest of the world can see them, then I am pretty sure she can. She just chooses not to acknowledge them... yet. Patience is the key to this.
You know, you are doing an amazing thing holding everything together for your family. I just can't even fathom how difficult it must be for you with kids. You should take pride in it because I really admire you for it.
