Letting God Take Control Part 16

[glamgirl]

Sooners I am NO expert and every sitch is different. I would just have a fabulous day with her NO expectations.

I would not mention to see to talk to her weekly. What I would do if God leads you give her a call once in a while or a short e-mail to let her know of a few things once in awhile.

W may take the talk as pressure. She has to feel comfortable and want to initiate the talks. Not you, but you can be kind and loving from a distance.

As you know it has been almost 2 years before my h was ready to see and talk to me on a regular basis.

NO R TALK. Let the day be fun and creative!

[MidwesternGirl]

The communication.

I have to say that when these MLCers are ready, they will talk but when we make a suggestion such as the talking once a week, it does not always go over well.

Just be yourself, enjoy the moment, and allow God to do the work. Remember, He does work beind the scenes.

[plentyhope]

HI, PH!!

I also liked today's charlyne message.

Hey MWG, Glad you liked it too. I used to find them hard to read. But these past 2 months, I looke forward to reading them each day, and usually get something out of each newsletter.

[plentyhope]

PH my h doesn't care for dogs. He keeps saying he didn't want me to get our first dog, but he was actually my boyfriend at the time and payed for half the dog.

I was thinking of getting 3 dogs, but this really needs to be decided by h.

He is of the thinking that the MAN makes all the decisions around here. So I really try to go to h about everything first, even for something as small as the blowdryer today I asked where I should shop and he said I will go with you.

Otherwise in h's mind I am making all the decisions. PH I have learned so much in all of this mess.

Hey glam,
It's great that you have learned to take your H's input seriously.

I recently had the opportunity to do so too with my H - when he made 2 suggestions during the boys' visit. I think I finally understand his method of communication. He tends to tell me something he wants by posing it as a suggestion, when he actually feels strongly about it. In the past, I just assumed he was leaving it to me (his words, if taken at face value). Now, I know he means please take my suggestion seriously...

As for the 3 dogs, if your H doesn't want the dogs, I wouldn't get them. It would cause friction between you two - just not worth breaking up a M over. My H hated when we got our 2nd dog. He was afraid that he'd be loved less, which I didn't know at the time....

[plentyhope]

And thanks, I am doing well. I feel very blessed with those in my life and I sometimes see my W connecting with me by sharing personal stuff about her life, her hopes, dreams, frustrations, etc. It may mean something, it may not. Who knows? I know He does!

Hey MMF,
Glad you are going well. Good that your W is connecting with you from time to time. I started reading Erin's book "Only God Can Restore Your Marriage" (free from restoreministries.net). She talks about not initating contact with the WAS. I guess I did initiate contact with my H. At those times, it served to show my H my changes, but I dodn't see the need to do that as much now.

The book really does look helpful, and stresses on being obedient to God's Word, regarding how we relate to our spouse, if we want our M restored.

[plentyhope]

Hey Glam,

I may get to see my W Saturday afternoon sometime to give a couple things she needs and her ring back to her. Since we don't see each other and have very little to no communication I have thought about mentioning if we could talk at least once a week even if it were for 5 to 10 minutes. I not really sure what to do right now. I have been praying for lots of things and communication is one of them. I wished I had more of an idea on what to do when I see her. I wouldn't mind some suggestions.

Hey sooners,
This is probably too late. I agree with glam and MWG. I would not suggest the weekly contact. It sounds like pressure to me, and she will see it as benefiting you more than her.

May I suggest you check out "Only God Can Restore Your Marriage" (free download from restoreministries.net)?

[plentyhope]

I had 2 dreams recently about my H. I don't remember much about the dreams, but in 1 of the dreams, I was out spending time with my H and his parents! I think spending time with his parents and my H is only possible if we are back together or at least working on reconciliation... Interesting dream.

I am doing alot of reading, especially since I have next week off. Looking forward to it and to the FlyLady program.

[MidwesternGirl]

H and his parents??? Did they do a 180? You know, it probably would not hurt to pray for them and ask God to soften their hardened hearts............afterall, you are their daughter-in-law and their son chose you as his wife.

[glamgirl]

PH I am now only getting one dog, but not until we make some changes around the house like purging the garage etc. I really don't need any extra burdens right now.

Interesting dream. I had fallen lightly asleep on the couch right before h left and it was a dream about h and something about how he is communicating. Not sure, I can barely remember.

Yes PH it is very important the understand how they communicate.

You sound better!