Is he starting to come home?

[No Longer BH]

OK, guess I am feeling a little down at the moment. First, I want to say that I have had a wonderful day. Thank you NikB for the birthday wish, that was very kind. I can not believe how blessed I am with all of the wonderful loving people in my life. THere was phone call after phone call from great people wishing me a happy birthday. I t was a beautiful day here as well. I got to sit by a lake with friends and hear children laugh while doing the same with my friends. Then I was treated to a wonderful evening of great food, great wine and great conversation. See, I really dont need H. Even though I tried my hardest not to bring him up, he did come up a couple of times. The thing that all my friends keep telling me is to be careful that he is not buttering me up for D. I KNOW its not that, since D will not happen until May of next year at the earliest due to S school (we are waiting to D until house sells and will not be on the market until March/April of next year).

So, those little devils of doubt have been whispering in my ear - he does not want you, just wants to be your friend because then he does not have to fell like the bad guy, it relieves his guilt. H is still seeing OW,even though he says he is not, but just does not want to look bad so he does not have to face his actions....these kind of thought. I have seen so many babysteps, but they dont mean that he is missing me. Does not matter though, I will still continue to do what I am doing because it is the right thing to do. With my new confidence and peaceful attitude, if he does not see a good thing that is in front of him, then he would not know how to cherish it anyway.

Sorry, not a very high PMA at the moment because all of my friends keep saying that he is just making things good so the D will go easy. Just wanted to purge some of my negative energy in hopes of finding some positive ones instead. Thanks