Thanks for grounding me both of you. Yes, he will have a 9 hour drive to think of this today. I sent the message JenInVen suggested. Coach I like your statement of action not reaction. OK, gotta work ... be back later tonight to join in the tattoo chatter. Whewwwww......
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Well, I'll be back later. But I've been reading the detachig thread & have some thoughts. Any comments anyone - on the following?
Who I Was When We Were Best Friends - I was confident & fun to be around. I didn't worry about what to say to my H. I didn't worry about what my H did or when I saw him. We talked about a lot of things - but not US. I totally respected his privacy & didn't invade it. I accepted & loved him for who he was, faults & all. Trust & honesty, I accepted what he said was true. He had total freedom to be who he wanted, because I was at a safe distance & couldn't be harmed. I knew I had no control over him & accepted it.
Who I Was When We Dated - I was still confident & fun to be around. I didn't worry about what to say to my H. I felt that my H loved me & that I was safe with him. I let my guard down. I respected his privacy. I trusted that he was honest with me. Still I let him control his own life & make his own decisions (although I tried to help him w/financial issues). His decisions were quite in sync with mine - or so I thought.
Married - Who Was I - My fun & confidence changed as he changed. I was vulerable now - to possibly be hurt. When we started growing apart - I was nolonger #1 in his life. I probably showed him he was nolonger #1 in mine. I started putting up my walls to protect myself from possible harm. I started to control him so his actions would not hurt me.
Being hurt is part of life - you cannot control it - you need to rise above it. Detachment - I need to gain a good grasp of & quickly.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
MsMel, thank you again, I appreciate you more than you could know.
Riddle me this MsMel and ye shall find me in the alt universe. What's the capital of TX? Write it down
There is a female DBer who I like to exchange posts with, her name is something like IntelligentScones. Write it down.
Now look for her on the FoosBall site.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
The Waye can lead you to Lola who is at the Copacabana
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Thank you for visiting my thread! I left a message there for you & I'm trying to catch up with your story.
I'm thinking of getting a tattoo too! My h has one - the first letter of my name. When I asked him what the OW thought of it he said "it's not an issue anymore." Then he said "I guess I should have it removed, I mean I can't keep it forever can I?" I ran into the bedroom crying hysterically - not a good DBing day but that was 3 months ago.
So, no letters or names - you just never Know!
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
MsMel, You there? What's going on with you? Talk to me sister.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Yes, he will have a 9 hour drive to think of this today. I sent the message JenInVen suggested. Coach I like your statement of action not reaction. OK, gotta work ... be back later tonight to join in the tattoo chatter. Whewwwww......