O.k. I am coming to the realization that I need to continue to do the 180's I have been doing, since they are working nicely at mending our R.
However, I also have realized that by doing these 180's(I've stopped defending myself, and accept my H's life choices even when I disagree with them) has put me in a position where many of my needs and wants are not being met.
So now, I have come to the conclusion finally that I need to learn how to be assertive and to ask calmly and nicely for what I want out of our M. This is so scary to me, there is a lot at risk here. But it would be another 180 for me to try since in the past my H used to say that I was too complacent. I had no idea what he meant by that. But now I think I do. I think that he is saying that I need to speak up more about my needs in a non complaining way.
Wow, the things I have learned here are all coming together and I hope that I can accomplish this next task. It is so scary to me, anyone have any suggestions. New_Attitude suggested to me that I try a letter. This scares me to write one. I am afraid it needs to be more subtle when I finally start being asseretive.
This assertiveness will not come easy for me and I could use some other good suggestions. TIPPER
