The Bumpy Road to Recovery #2

[Bagheera]

I know you don't like the "nonsexual" threads, but would you mind jumping over to my thread (linked under my signature) and seeing if there is something/anything there that you could comment on? I would really appreciate it.

It isn't a matter of my "not liking" to post on the other forums, it's just that I don't know enough about DBing to feel confident about advising anyone. I haven't had to bust a divorce, we haven't had any affairs or walk-aways, and I haven't even read the DB or DR books. It's out of my area of so-called expertise.

The one thing that I will ask you to consider is that throughout your thread and reports on your situation, I continue to see a lot of ANGER and SPITEFULNESS, alternating with CLINGING and DESPAIR. I can't blame you for having any of these emotions, but whenever you interact with your spouse in any way, you'll need to push those emotions aside completely. You and your H are very good at pushing each other buttons, exchanging jabs, and acting like you're at war --> leading you to either be spiteful to him, say something angrily to him, or break down completely in front of him.

You H needs to see the part of you that he originally fell in love with: neither clinging & desperate nor angry & spiteful. Somehow, you need to center yourself and find the self-contained, self-confident woman inside of yourself. Then, display that woman to him in every interaction, and NOT let him goad you into behavior that hurts your cause.

Best of luck to you,

-- B.