Yeah it was totally minging - they were the very words in my head as realisation dawned, I think I'm going to have to go for a Maccy D's to clense my pallet That was one of the things I told myself while trying to force it down, ITH, that the French eat that stuff all the time and they aren't dead lol! I did remove the raw egg from the top though so as not to risk salmonella!
I sent the email on Tuesday OD to his home address. The thing is that h knows that i have never really surfed You Tube before so I kind of did it on the pretence that I was looking for a Rolling Stone thing for my Mum (as she is a huge fan and the backing music was a Rolling Stones song) and came across this which was a route he used to drive. I just think it might look a bit pursuing if I suddenly start sending stuff, but maybe I could send a link to the Verdi Requiem after we have seen it.
It was beyond grim I was so tempted to ask the waiter to take it back but it would have been quite shameful. Also, the way he placed it down was with such a flourish like it was some kind of master piece. It was beyond grim though and I feel like such a carnivore today! Even though I eat meat, I don't eat a lot, certainly not raw and bloody and I also hate cold food. I really don't know how I forced it down other than by detachment - DBing is so handy lol!
I do have a feeling things are going to change, I'm not sure how or whether it will be good. But I'm not sure whether I should sit back or do something instrumental.
You know the rent thing is a really good idea. I am going to let him put it on the market (I think I have to) but I really think it is unlikely to sell in which case I may suggest the rent thing. We wouldn't lose money I don't think either so it is a really good idea.
J, you KNOW you and I have so much in common. Not only do I see a lot of similaritites (I kept that misspelling on purpose cause I think it's funny) between our sitches, but also personality-wise. The way I read us, IMHO, we both have strong sides, confidence in many areas, but deep insecurities that seem to come out with our H's. You second-guess yourself a lot, and so do I.
But the thing is--you don't need to. You have a lot of light inside you, it's apparent from even your posts. I know we both carry a lot of guilt about the way we acted in our M, but, I see as I get happier...it always takes two. Part of me thinks that the incredible light inside you is why H stays away from you. Why would anyone want to feel a party to squelching even half the brightness of that light?
I'm not saying dim that light in any way. I'm saying, cultivate the idea that you have that light, that it's strong, that you're forgiven for the mistakes you made, and let it help you feel the confidence that you have in many areas infiltrate your interactions with your H. You're doing great. He would be *blown away* if he realized someone was putting half the effort and love that you are into him.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
I think we were posting to each other at the same time! Thank you for that great compliment, it really means a lot that you said that,
I will really think about what you said, I am confident in other areas of my life but this whole h thing really knocked it out of me for a while. I do have a kind of stubborn determination (i.e. eating raw steak and egg instead of admitting ignorance which my Dad pointed out to me tonight after he'd finished gagging/ laughing at me) and I sometimes wonder if it is that which makes me carry on with this or if it is love for my h - I think it is probably a combination of the two.
LOL, minging is school playground speak for something really unpleasant. Another variation is 'that mings'
Just a quick comment about the dinner last night...YUCK. Steak Tartare has got to be one of the worst things I could imagine having to eat. I had a good chuckle when you said you DBed your steak!
Hope you have a great Sunday!
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
ok so if we all get together for a big DBing part we are not having Steak Tartare, I think we can safely agree on that. Julia I would love to drink a pint with you someday. I hope that you have a great weekend.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Yeah. Don't do the raw meat thing. I would have PK'd instead of DB's in that.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That has to be one of the most disgusting things I could ever imagine. To serve raw meat is just nasty but the add insult tin injury by topping it with a raw egg? The French are so bizarre!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
That was one of the things I told myself while trying to force it down, ITH, that the French eat that stuff all the time and they aren't dead lol! I did remove the raw egg from the top though so as not to risk salmonella! 
I was so tempted to ask the waiter to take it back but it would have been quite shameful. Also, the way he placed it down was with such a flourish like it was some kind of master piece. It was beyond grim though and I feel like such a carnivore today! Even though I eat meat, I don't eat a lot, certainly not raw and bloody and I also hate cold food. I really don't know how I forced it down other than by detachment - DBing is so handy lol!