Thank you for all your thoughtful posts and for visiting me. What a nice thing to come here and find all your advice!
Madame- Monica isn't too bad- definitely not as obssessive as she is
Handsome- don't bother with the trunks
Michelle, ITH- yes, I do feel as though our conversations are becoming more open and relaxed. There's a bit more banter, and it's fun, like when we first met and started dating. I see it as a really good sign (and hope it's not just a 'friends' thing).
Mishka- yes, they did have a program on here about lady bits! It was interesting, and at points excruciatingly uncomfortable. Like Julia- I had to cross my legs and was almost wincing at some points. Definitely a conversation topic though! Here's a summary
Jen- ask him to play with my tinky. LOVE it, although I'm not sure I'm brave enough to try that yet! I did say to him yesterday that me touching him arm didn't mean I was going to jump his pants. He laughed, so maybe a tinky suggestion in a jokey way could work! Thank you for saying you don't think he loves the aub.!
Julia- I love that Malteasers ad! I was thinking of Verdi with you if you're still on for it? 'm not sure about whether the talk is creating sexual tension. I was thinking about that. It is for me, but I can't really tell for H. What I do know, though, is that he was thinking about the conversation the next day because he mailed me a suggestion (beaver) that we hadn't got. (Can't believe I could have omitted that one!). I see that as a good thing- the more he associates naughty bits with me, the better.
Ali- I actually thought the conversation we had was a good thing, because it was fun and funny, and totally didn't require any brain effort. When H and I first met we used to play a 'top five' game. What are your top five ice creams, roast dinners, bus routes, TV programs, songs, movies etc. It was fun and created an energy between us that naughty bits have over the past couple of days. I don't think it reflects any issues in that department- we didn't really have any as far as I was aware-who knows, maybe we did and I just couldn't tell. I'll think more about this.
T, Ali, Mishka, Jen, ITH- I've been thinking about what to do in relation to bringing up an OR talk. In May when H and I were at a similar point in having a good R and spending time together, I did bring one up. H got really upset, said he was confused and he still loves me, that we could work this out and he would fix it and then practically disappeared off the face of the earth for 2 months. Because of that, my inclination would be not to bring one up because I think he'll say he's confused again, get scared and disappear again. I have to accept the uncertainty for now and see how things go- no pressure, detached etc etc. MLCers (from what I understand) balk at pressure, and DB Coach said I have to focus on helping him feel better about himself and to be ready for a long haul.... on the other hand, I'm not discounting an OR talk at some point in the future. My heart tells me that right now isn't the time.
ITH, Jen- I haven't discussed this with DB Coach. We just focussed on getting more energy into the interactions and having more fun, which might lead to a closer R and eventually to some romance. Who knows. In the meantime, I do think I have to think about alternative routes to having children (thanks mishka for the prompt). The sperm bank is probably the best route for now- I'm not interested in any of the men I've met so far but never say never.
So, H and I exchanged a few e-mails yesterday afternoon. very ligh, bantering content which was fun. I really feel like there's been a change in our interactions- we're having fun with each other as opposed to talking seriously about interests and things. Hopefully in the meantime, the interactions with the aub are becoming more tense. H looked at the Proms listings and we agreed to try Rachmaninov or Tchaikovsky as he likes both of them, and also to go for dinner beforehand.
And a bit of other banter (which I initiated- we forgot possum on our list).
One thing that I'm not sure I posted about yesterday was that H said he's thinking of doing some volunteer work in his spare time, and that he'd started reading the website he used to subscribe to pre-S. I see that as a good sign on both counts- he's reclaiming his old self, who used to visit cancer patients at the local hospice and sit with them, and who used to have a passion for getting our finances and house in order through advice on that wesbite. I hope these are good signs.
