New Thread, new life, new happiness

[HopefultotheEnd]

OMG WTF! I feel like I'm in frikkin high school.

So the saga resolves itself...more or less.

I arrange to pick up kids tonight from W and take them to my moms for dinner. I'm all smiles and happy. As if. W calls later saying she has arranged to drop off girls at her moms so we are both free for the weekend. I meet W at the house say goodbye to the girls and then W comes over to me and gives me a hug. I think ok I can handle that and hug back. I start to release and she looks up at me I kiss her forhead and rub the back of her neck and said, "drive safe". (Old habits die hard) then as I start to pull away she quickly leans in and kisses me...and I mean a real kiss, I was so surprised. We havn't kissed like that in over a month. I totally played it cool though, walked away and said bye to the girls again then went in the house.

I don't know what to think now.

[JenInVen]

Hi! I don't think you should think...it was a postive step and just enjoy the moment. If you read into it then it might backfire. See what happens next time. When my XH and I kiss I don't bring it up ever.

[LolaL]

I agree with Jen. Don't think. Just go with the flow. Am catching up in your sitch

[LolaL]

Well, okay. I think it sounds to me like your W is having a bit of an MLC. Fortunately, she seems to be coming out of it pretty quickly.

As hard as this may be, let her take the lead. The fact that she kissed you does show some attraction remains, and with attraction (especially w/ women) there is always a deeper emotion, even if we don't want to admit it.

The key, though, is don't pursue. I agree w/ what I said about the OM. I know it is tough to be in that sitch, but you can't do anything about it. But you don't have to make it easy on her either. You have told her how you feel re: she is aware that you obviously have a problem w/ the OM, and that is all she needs to know .

[Phoenixdeux]

You're doing well. Keep doing what you are doing...keep drawing her toward you.

[HopefultotheEnd]

Thanks for the encouragement. I really need it. There is so much I don't agree with yet I let it go and sometimes it catches up with me.

I had a great weekend, it was full of socializing and a little bit of other people's drama which while not fun on it's own it helped me put my own life in perspective. (I don't have it so bad)

W dropped the kids off Monday night around midnight. I was in bed. She came up to have the kids each say goodnight to me and then came back to give me a quick hug.

I really feel that I shouldn't examine things too closely right now. But I will continue on to see if the positive changes continue.

Tomorrow W leaves for four days to Las Vegas for a b-day celebration of one of her friends. (a friend who is known for making bad choices and encouraged W to walk away.) She booked this trip right after she dropped the bomb. I remember being worried at the time. I'm not so much anymore as all my fears from back then have been realized.(I don't know why but this is almost funny) I do wish we had the money for other things though. Her friends have a long history of making bad choices. Oh well, Kids and I will have a good time.

Final venting moment. D9 brings me the band sigh up form this morning in tears because today was the first meeting and W said she would sign her up. I'm not sure I can commit to getting her to school an hour early for practice but I'll do the best I can. I hate that W is so unreliable these days. For instance this morning she was going to Take D9 to school so i could meet my Mom with D4. She called me to confirm that she would be there in 30 minutes. 10 minutes before she is to get there she calls asking if there is any way I can do it. I at first tell her that I wasn't sure that I could and tell her to call my mom and see if they can arrange something. I didn't think that it was good for D9 to leave it undecided so I called her back and told her I'd take care of it. I know who really needs the 2X4.

[HopefultotheEnd]

Blech! W just called from her new work # and totaly caught me off guard. It was fine but I was caffinated and in High Productivity mode so I rambled a bit. Rambling is not calm cool or collected...I think I recall her telling me that she dislikes it when I do that.

Oh well. The convo went fine otherwise, Just planning for this afternoon since she is picking up D9 from school and dropping her at my moms so she can do errands before her flight tomorrow.

Sometimes I think I stay too focused on our bleak financial picture or kid stuff when she calls. No doubt it's no fun for her since each time I refocus on some task or another.

[LolaL]

I can certainly understand that!!! The bleak financial picture means H and I have to file Chapt 13 bankruptcy this week. This is, unfortunately, one of the side effects of S and D. We get so behind when we go from one household to 2, don't you think?

I am hoping that gives our DAS's food for thought, to be honest. Would we be in this predicament if we were together? Probably not. Just try not to stress about it too much.

[HopefultotheEnd]

Oh Lola I hear you. We have one foot in the grave financially and I'm doing everything in my power to avoid stepping in with the other foot. We have the slightest glimmer of hope in that My W just got a temp job for a few months, but it won't save us forever. It also doesn't help that my W is spending $$$ on motorcycle gear, gas, and this trip to Vegas (though this was booked long ago.)

My stress comes from juggling what we have so that everythig so far is paid on time. It's an uphill battle because there is less each month. Thanks for understanding.

[HopefultotheEnd]

New baby step perhaps...W had emailed me this morning to check on D9 and to thank me for taking care of it all. She also gave me her direct work # and work email. Not a huge gesture but I'll take it as positive.

I responded by praising D9 (hinting at my daddy awesomness) and sounding completely happy.

There is a chance this day could get more wierd but I'll cover that later if it ocurs.