Sandi is here and things are getting better!

[No Longer BH]

Sandi, you are so sweet. Thank you for your reply. I understand what you mean about these boards, sometime they draw us in a little too much but you do have a calling.

I think it is funny that you see me as acting hard to get. Here I am thinking I am putting too much effort into him. I compliment him, joke with him and act flirty with him when ever we are together. I have sent funny emails to him and even invited him to a concert (felt that I came on too strong with that one so backed up). The way I figure it, since I dont want to persue but do not want him to feel rejected, I contact him or initiate something with him about 1 time for every three of his. In my mind this gives him space but also (hopefully) triggers his need to persue me. Not trying to play a game with this, just trying to let him come to terms in his own time without feeling pressure from me.

I agree, we both need to be in a healthy place for "us" to work. As odd as it sounds, his leaving me was a gift because it forced me to grow and take care of my issues. For the first time in my life I am at peace and have confidence. I have said this before, I do not need him, just would like to have him in my life as my partner. He still has some growing to do, just now coming out of his sever depression. He is working very hard on trying to find himself as well. Its funny, when we talk, some of the things he says makes me remember the way I felt when I first started this journey....for example, he still tend to blame others for how he feels. It shows me he just is not finished with the task of self discovery yet. I have to let him go to do what he needs to do, but am hoping that he does not grow away from his family but towards us instead.

Thanks again for your encouraging words and all of your strength. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your friends. My thoughts go out to you and their family. As a parent myself, the hardest thing we have to do is watch our children suffer, but you are being a wonderful mother by supporting her when she needs it the most. Like they say: We can not control anyone but ourselves. Take care.