Q&A with the WAS

[christarn]

"Q: Did you have an EA or PA when you separated from your H?"

I did not have any type of affair...just was tired of constant fighting and arguing that never resolved, so one day i packed and left.

"Q: Do you think that if he would have stopped perusing you and changed himself instead, you would have wanted to come home earlier or was it the fact that you finally felt like you had lost him that got you to turn back to him?"

My H, did stop persuing about 2 months after I served him with papers. Once I had space to figure out what it was that I had REALLY done...I truly started to think. It was then, I realized, Oh boy, I really screwed this up. This journey that we are on, isn't about him changing per say, i realize now (in hindsight) how much I needed to grow. I had lost both of my parents within a 2 year time frame, and had many other stressors in my life. With the time we have been separated, I have realized not only what I have in my H, but what I could have done differently, and how I can be and will be a better spouse. This "journey" has been about really figuring out who I am, and how I can be the best "me" ever, because then...I can be the best W ever. hope that makes sense. I have to accept him for who he is...end of story!

"Q: If after a long time of pursuing, when the LBH finally went no contact, did you feel more relieved at first or did the curiosity kick in right away?"

I was relieved at first, then as time has went by, it becomes harder. I am at ease being on my own...but I always wonder what he is out there doing. I know there is OW who fades in and out. He does however, talk to me on and off. We are at 19 mos, separated, and I still have hope. Until papers are signed...I will have hope.

I am happy to help Hopeful answer questions....just ask!!!

christarn