Q&A with the WAS

[HOPEFULinCALI]

Q: Did you have an EA or PA when you seperated from your H?

A: I did not however, to be honest I was distracted by the attention that I recieved as someone who's marriage appeared to be over.

Q: Do you think that if he would have stopped persuing you and changed himself instead, you would have wanted to come home earlier or was it the fact that you finally felt like you had lost him that got you to turn back to him?

A: EXACTLY. He pursued endlessly but that did not change the fact that neither of us changed (note that the WAS doesn't see the need to change themselves so you must be the first to do it)and therefore our R didn't change. For me it is not an either or question. If he would have stopped pursuing me and changed I would have come back but because he did not it took for me to feel as if I was losing him to turn back to him.

Q: If after a long time of pursuing, when the LBH finally went no contact, did you feel more relieved at first or did the curiosity kick in right away?

A: Initially I was relieved until I saw that he was really done and no longer wanted me. I later realized that I was not relieved that he had given up but rather relieved to be free from the pressure. What this means to the LBS is to stop pursing, no R talk, no pressure, and don't show the WAS that you are hurt by what they say or do.