I'm swamped with kids, driving D6 to music lessons and summer activities, work, house, same old stuff. Can't say it's exciting, but it's sure a lot nicer than living in crisis mode.
This is how I'm feeling too. "Back to normal," which isn't bad, but not too exciting. I feel I should be much more appreciative b/c I know how "bad" it can actually be, you know?
I'm glad you are feeling cool, calm & collected (as my mom would say) about your sitch now.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Aud, In my faith I was taught that Jesus is the definition of unconditional love. I was raised old school Lutheren, and that only by grace can we come to God. There is no way possible, no matter how "good" we act or how many good works we do, that we can "earn" God's love.
Not everyone agrees with that. I like it though. I like the idea of Grace, and Love. Your's and my perfection isn't an issue. We are flawed and always will be. God loves us regardless.
Maybe the lesson is to learn to love as He does, as best we can, unconditionally.
Loving yourself is hard. Seems to me your doing well though. Good luck to you. I hope you feel grace in your life.
M45, W45,S15, D10, Bomb 10/3/06, Moved back in 11/6/06, finally ILY 9/07 last thread
Thanks for dropping in Red. Isn't it wierd, how easy it is to slip back in to life after the crisis...that it's sometimes hard in the pressures of the mundane to appreciate and keep progress afloat?
I know I need to put more effort into new experiences and keep working on myself. I am...it just seems like a lot to work on sometimes! Slow and steady though--as long as it's forward, we'll be okay.
Thanks for your input Login. I too believe that Jesus is the definition of unconditional love. That is God's "I love you" program. It's not necessary or possible to earn it. But I also believe he has an "I trust you" program that is associated with our efforts to truly turn our thoughts and actions to Him and to follow His will for us.
I think you're absolutely right that the lesson is to learn to love as He does. I do feel grace in my life when I take the time to stop and look at the blessings and wonders around me. There are more than I can count. Just need to keep focusing on those things instead of what I'm not getting done, while trying to get done!
It made sense to me, Aud! I am in a time of my life, where I am truly seeing how blessed I am ... in more ways than I can count.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Update? Hmmm...nada new. H has been crazy busy with a new mechanical project (he bought a nearly new wrecked pickup for an insanely small amount of money and is fixing it) and a few work projects, so he's not around much. When he is home (before 9 am and after 10 pm), he's pleasant, engaged, even thoughtful on occasion.
I feel like we're pretty much back to our pre-A life, but better in some ways. Nothing's worse. Some things I'd like to see improve:
-I'd like to be a better, more positive parenting team (with more presence and involvement from him). I'm currently working on responding to my kids in positive ways using natural consequences. I mess up about every 20 minutes or so , but it's on my radar. -I'd like to spend more time together (think I need to get a sitter and head over to the shop to hang out with him if that's going to happen). -I'd like to be on the same page spiritually (this one's up to him--and I'm okay with that for now).
For me, I need to work on my tone of voice--I think that sometimes I come across as whiny. Not intentionally, it's just the tone that comes out when I'm expressing frustration or fear. And, call me crazy, I think he's quick to hear it. Now that I think of it, maybe that's why my D6 is so whiny too! Grrr.
Aud, You have a healthy perspective as far as I can see. I certainly understand how TONE can be very important in everything we do and I am trying to work on that as well. I am glad to see that your sitch is still rolling along with only minor bumps and bruises....peace
, but it's on my radar.