Train In Vain - Infidelity? - Help - Need Advise!!

[MsMelancoly]

Well, I'll be back later. But I've been reading the detachig thread & have some thoughts. Any comments anyone - on the following?

Who I Was When We Were Best Friends - I was confident & fun to be around. I didn't worry about what to say to my H. I didn't worry about what my H did or when I saw him. We talked about a lot of things - but not US. I totally respected his privacy & didn't invade it. I accepted & loved him for who he was, faults & all. Trust & honesty, I accepted what he said was true. He had total freedom to be who he wanted, because I was at a safe distance & couldn't be harmed. I knew I had no control over him & accepted it.

Who I Was When We Dated - I was still confident & fun to be around. I didn't worry about what to say to my H. I felt that my H loved me & that I was safe with him. I let my guard down. I respected his privacy. I trusted that he was honest with me. Still I let him control his own life & make his own decisions (although I tried to help him w/financial issues). His decisions were quite in sync with mine - or so I thought.

Married - Who Was I - My fun & confidence changed as he changed. I was vulerable now - to possibly be hurt. When we started growing apart - I was nolonger #1 in his life. I probably showed him he was nolonger #1 in mine. I started putting up my walls to protect myself from possible harm. I started to control him so his actions would not hurt me.

Being hurt is part of life - you cannot control it - you need to rise above it. Detachment - I need to gain a good grasp of & quickly.