God give me the patience and the strength...6

[theotherhalf]

I don't think i do have expectations from my H. If so, I think it's more expecting the worse from him than good.

And I am very very guilty of analyzing everything. I know that. But hard to not with a H that doesn't talk.

MWG it's hard to let a man be that is still so much a part of my life. We both (i think) try so hard to go NC, to leave the other alone. And yet it doesn't work. We could both say well, with the girls and the farm, and his family we have to stay in contact.

But bottom line is that is not really so. The girls are old enough to take care of thier R with him. And the farm, it's an exuse for us both. And his family, he uses them as an exuse to spend time with me, and so do I him. Bad, I know, but true.

What a mess we have found ourselves in.