Groundhog Day WAW#15

[LostPhil]

I'm really tired of thinking of all this stuff. I'm wondering what kind of skulldudgery she'll put me through this weekend. She works the day shift today, and she works the night shift on Sunday.

I'm thinking she will probally want to go out with pig girl tonight. So will she dump the kids on me. I mean I don't want to imply that because I want my kids. It just ticks me off that she never ever wanted to go out to bars and things with me, but she'll do it with piggy. She'll get all dressed to the nines, and be the bait for piggy.

Then it makes my imagination go crazy. Is there really someone else? If there is, how is that person making her happy. If they are out at the bars then the person is most likely drinking, and it is ok for the new guy to drink. What if it isn't even about that. What if she really just switched teams?

Oh its all a mess. I remember before she left she said don't worry I'll still give you booty calls.

Still waiting.

She said she wanted to leave. She was under my wing since she was 17. She wanted to swallow the big girl pill. Isn't getting married, having kids, buying a house, and raising a family swallowing the big girl pill?

I'm really tired of feeling so hurt over it. I miss her to death. I really wish she would just come home and start yelling at me about something.

Quit chewing, you are a blah, blah, blah, blah... Nice!

To tell you the truth, the kids already know she is nuts.

I really doubt my daughter was flippin over the bottled water. Do you think she will remember that. Daddy had bottled water on the porch for me.

It's really beyond frustrating. No communication about the insurance money. I just wanted to let her know she isn't on her own. I'm paying her insurance, and she can not throw it in my face that I do not give her anything.

[Babygirl]

Hey i havent asked how old your kids are? and trust me, with my EXH and current H kids are smart!

[LostPhil]

They are 6 and 8. D is 8. Trust me I think D is going on 28. She is more adult than her Mother. The kids know she is nuts. That is why I think that my son always wants to be with me.

So much for getting that phone call when kids got out of school. Well no matter, I'll be picking them up soon.

She can not do something simple like have them call me. So inconsiderate.

[Babygirl]

so sorry phil!! i know my kids HATE time with thier D. mostly because his current W is like barbara jean from the tv show reba for real lol!
Mine are D 16 D 13 S almost 12.

[Babygirl]

omg and hey i do understand girls, my oldest? 16? looks like she is 21 already!

[Babygirl]

and let me apologize for not being here, or seeming if i am cold and callous. today has just not been my day, didnt ask for it, chose to believe, got screwed. I truly hope you are with those kids of yours and having the time of your life!
thanks for going to the game for me.
hang in there!

[LostPhil]

I feel like I'm in the funk too. I do have the kids now. They are playing video games. They were actually put to work by the boss over at the ice cream store.

The owners love me. I did repairs for them when wife was still at home and started working there. You know handy me. Replaced balast in lights. Fixed a leaking sink. Repaired a water pipe. Etc... They always try to shower me with ice cream. I always decline. They say do you want a pint of something. I said no thank you. I said wife just got me a pint the other day.

Then here is the funny part. They have there own version of bottled water. WTF... Why was she texting me last night asking me to drop her off bottled water. She could have had one of her ice cream stoops to drop it off to her.

Is this just one of those things to drive me crazy and string me along. Is she touching down again for a little. Bottled water... I'm reading way to much into it.

I also found a really cool pirate ship painting at the thrift store yesterday. It's impressionist style. Two ships in the middle of the sea in a battle.

Oh seeing my wife at the ice cream store. She has been promoted and is not allowed to wear the managers uniforms. Polo shirts instead of T-shirts, and black pants instead of tan.

Wonder if she got a raise? How would I know she doesn't even talk to me.

She did say she was going to pick up the kids after work. I said what time. She said after work. So we will see. I said are you going out tonight. She said no.

I know for a fact my son is going to stay with me.

[Babygirl]

i remember when my ex hubby got his raise, after all our struggling for him to be a pilot, omg he was making almost 175 grand! and still, shared, i get no money from him. oh did i forget to mention i have 2 ex hubbys lol?
I am really hoping you get to keep your son, i can read and feel your anger, but i can also read and feel the love you have for your babes!!

[LostPhil]

Yeah she just picked came to pick them up and son just wants to be with me. I said let him stay. She wanted him to go, but he told her no. She said why don't you stay with him tomorrow. He said I'll stay with him tomorrow too. I said I do have a party to go to. She said son come with me, daddy has a party to go to. I said I don't even want to go to it. Let him stay with me. She said one of d's friends is coming over for a sleep over. He says I really don't want to go now.

She was walking aorund the house. I said what do you think you are doing walking around the house with your shoes on. The rules didn't change because you left. She said Oh I'm just tired and I don't feel like taking them off. I said well that still doesn't change the rules. She just looked at me and laughed.

I also told her I want my wedding ring. I have been asking for it for days. She said why would you want it now it nver meant anything to you before. I said that is a lie I just never wore it because I always worked on things and I didn't want my finger fipped off. I said it does mean something to me. She said why do you want. I said because we are still married and it does mean something to me.

She said. Yes unfortunatly we are still married. I said no fortunately we still are. She gets in the car and so does daughter. I walk over to kiss daughter. I tell her stop saying ose things. I love you. I always loved you. Now let me kiss you. She gives me the cheek. Then I tell her again.

I don't care what the book says. She said she never felt like I loved her. The bad part is, when I say it to her. She doesn't say it back.

I texted her: You are the one that left so it means nothing to you. You are filled with lies. And I am filled with love for you. Stop hurting me.

I don't care what the book says. I can't do it. Everytime I'm around her I melt. I can't do it...

I can't do it

I can't stop crying, and I don't want my son to see me.

[craig54]

Phil, I know that you poopood the idea of seeing a counselor, but you need to talk to someone that is flesh and blood, being here is great, but actually sitting in front of someone and opening up your soul can really help you.This would be a huge 180.I know it hurts, it hurts like heck. You need to do something different for yourself.