Is he starting to come home?

[No Longer BH]

I just need to get this out and dont know where to go with it. I opened my mail today and there was a letter from a wine of the month club membership saying that the subscription he bought for OW was running out this month, did he want to renew it. Now, I had no idea about this and was so very shocked. I slipped and called company to find out what was bought and when. I was a 6 mnth package purchased in Nov for 176.00(her Bday is the begining of Dec, but he claims they were just friends at that point). I had already found out that he had spent 350.00 on flowers for her that he admitted to but he never told me about this. I know, it is in the past, the behavior of my alien H. I will not let this affect my attitude around him, it just hit me when I did not see it coming.

Im trying to take deep breathes and let it go. Only need to focus on today. I hate being triggered. I can at least tell I am getting better because there would have been a time where I would have been on the floor crying my eyes out over this.