I am going darker and working on talking w/ her as little as possible. I still have a ton of bad habits, however, and I need to make these habits strengths.
For example, last night she was pissed at me (what's new) b/c I didn't get back to her last week and discuss our drop-off of D today. She had offered to bring her all the way to me and I said at the time "that'd be fine if it works for you and I can get her half-way or wherever as well." I thought it was an open-ended thing w/ no sense of urgency.
Well, last night she said she "clearly" told me I had to get back to her right away and since I didn't get back to her, she wouldn't be bringing her to me. The bad habit is this...I explained that while she may have thought she was "clear" I missed that part. I then said "I'm sorry about that"... and then talked about today's drop-off. I'd love to quit saying "I'm sorry" and go w/ the word "unfortunate" instead. Again, it is a habit that I really need to break. It is a bad, bad habit.
On the bright side, we discussed a time to drop her off on Monday and she 1st said "I need her no later than 3" to which I offered 2 or 2:30. When she again said, I don't know, but I need her by 3 at the latest b/c of traffic, I quickly said "Ok. Great. We'll meet at 3 on Monday." She didn't like that, but it felt good for me to just make a decision and not give into her.
So, I'm working on it, but my habits do die hard. Getting as dark as possible is my goal and I'll continue to stay there until we have more movement.
Finally, to answer your question, it is not very attractive at all, Phoenixdeux and I'm working on my emotional detachment as I'm continuing to work at embracing the fact that I can't rescue her. Only she can make those changes to rescue herself.
