How to start from scratch in 12 Mos Separation ?

[mountainman]

Dad, Good for you that you are trying!! You are doing the right thing for you and what many believe will be the right thing for your R with your W (including me)
Some of things you are doing like running, swimming etc. are GREAT ways to have fun, excercise can be fun! and you feel great afterward, so keep doing those things, especially if they work for you.

You talk about feeling like a 3rd wheel, do you think this might be one of the things that bothered your W? If so, then it's a great opp to do a 180. 180's are hard, but sometimes pay off very big.

As far as doing things with others and addressing your feelings of lonliness, I can make a couple of suggestions, but these are just suggestions.
1. you might want to try individual counseling, sometimes its nice to just have someone to talk to.
2. I understand you don't like doing some things alone, so maybe go out and try to make some friends. If this is not easy for you, which is very normal, try joining a club of some kind, or maybe even taking a class, you might meet some folks there with similar interests, just like you have made friends on this board.

Here's another idea, I enjoy reading very much as well. So instead of reading in your big lonely house, try going to the library to read, or even better, a coffee shop or bookstore like borders that has a coffee shop there. Sometimes just being around people can help you feel less lonely. I get how in a bar or at dinner, most people are not alone and that can make someone who IS alone feel LONLIER (I wouldnt want to do this either!). But a place like a bookstore or library are full of poeple there by themselves, you'll fit right in!

If you like doing yard work, try volunteering for a local church or school or something. it will get you out of the house, meet new people and do something that you enjoy without any pressure, you can do as little or as much as you'd like. plus it might help you feel good to help others.

Try some different things and see how they work for you. if it helps, keep doing it, if it doesn't, try something else. This advice, btw, goes for both how to get yourself through this, as well as what you should be doing about your M. It sounds like what you are doing now is not helping, so you might want to think about trying something else. It sounds like you are thinking about it if you are here asking for help.

Strength and honor brother

((((HIGH FIVE!))))