Any WAHs on this board?

[istherehope]

Thanks NHF,

I'm here regularly--an obsessive poster on the separated board. I have a thread there now 'Faking it til I make it in Wroclaw'.

To complicate matters in my situation,I'm living in Poland for this time, while he's in Ireland, and we're both American.

He's also very depressed, so I need to be careful not to seem like I'm getting on TOO much, as I don't want to actually make him worry about me. He has said that he knows I'm having an adventure (really I'm faking it at the moment, but that's the beauty of being in another country--he'll never know), so I think he thinks I'm doing well. As you've said, those days on which for whatever reason I haven't been available right away when he IMs, he usually gets a little more interested. Still with someone who's so depressed, I do need to be somewhat careful.

Thing is I am sure right now he feels empty, and like he is not in love with me. He hasn't said this, but he is being very careful about this I think. So, I am sure you're right that he's trying to not to lead me on, which does make me sick since he's my husband...

We are separated for at least another 2 months. This is when I get back to Dublin, but I am pretty sure he wants more time, at least according to his conversation yesterday.

Good news is I haven't said I love you. I haven't been saying I miss you, though yesterday I did ask him if he missed me...to be fair he did say he did once.

We have a joint counseling phone session tonight, so I am going to try to only validate, act positive, and see what comes about.

Thanks for the tip on the reasoning too. I know I do this a bit, I think it's gut reaction to do this...

I appreciate all of your insight, and I'll be posting the followup from tonight's call on my thread in the separated section...

ITH