I think I did the right thing. I made it difficult for her to get my permission to clean the house. That keeps me in Alpha Male status and that of course is attractive.
She is lost, a mess, whatever we want to call it. Cruelty won't make her better.
And allowing her to be your maid when she's feeling guilty and out of sorts will not turn her heart back towards you.
Saying 'thanks but no thanks' would be a step towards helping her hold onto what little legitimate dignity she actually has and while doing so now might hurt her and cause backlash it won't be near the backlash that letting her come over to clean is likely going to cause you down the road.
I can hear it now:
"When you first kicked me out and I was so upset and begging for any scrap you would give me, all you allowed me to do was run errands or come clean up after you! Thanks for using me when I at my lowest point!!"
I'd encourage you not to give her ways to avoid dealing with a situation that she has caused, Frank.
But further, if you're doing anything for her at all (and whether or not you even should be is debateable) - but you should be steering her in a direction that will result in her independence.
