So H fnally left. Ran out to his uncle's to get our camping gear. I have a least an hour to myself. (as long as D sleeps in longer)
So this is what's in store for my world this weekend.
H's brother,SIL and her daughter are here until Monday to ride the dunes. His Dad & smom are here also. His smom's daugher, her gf and their 2 kids will be here tomorrow.
H's mother (infamous MIL) invited herself to come down. She will be here sometime this afternoon and is *supposedly* leaving tomorrow. Knowing her, she will not want to be left out, and will find a way to stay at least another day. I could be wrong, but I would be surprised.
My MIL is the *OW* in our situation. She's a very messed up lady and has really screwed up her 2 boys over the course of their life. The only reason she is coming this weekend is because she doesn't want *her* boys to have time alone with their dad. She gets very jealous of any relationship they have with him.
H's parents divorced when he was 7. FIL left MIL for another woman. They later married and had 2 kids. Were married for 20+ yrs, then OW left him. H and I have a relationship with this Smom. She was the only parent that came to our wedding. (granted we did get married in MX)
MIL still acts like FIL left her last week. She convinced my H to hate his dad while he was growing up and he did. One of the head games she played with the boys that came to light last summer - FIL would be scheduled to pick the boys up for the day on a sat., MIL would call him and tell him he couldn't have them. She wouldn't tell the boys this. She would let them sit on the couch watching out the window for HOURS waiting for him. Their little hearts breaking, thinking their dad didn't love them, loved the OW more, all the while she knew he wasn't coming. She would tell them their dad didn't care, see? My H figured started to hate his dad by the 2nd instance of this. His brother waited every week for months. Cruel beyond belief if you ask me. Believe it or not, this is a minor instance in their life.
She has spent their entire adult life trying to make them feel guilty. She doesn't want them to have wives or gf, she wants all their time devoted to her. My H actually cut her out of his life for a couple of years during his 1st M because of how she treated that W.
In the years we've been together, she has *faked* liking me, but I didn't know it until last year. She would talk bad about my SIL to me and how worthless she is etc. Which should have been a clue that she was probably doing that to me. But it wasn't, she always acted like a BF. I didn't need a mom, or MIL, I'm too old to be afraid of her etc. So I made friends with her.
This woman is a hypochodriac, that's how she gets attention from her friends and for some reason she thinks that draws her sons to her, which it doesn't. It's all sick. The whole thing.
Well, last year when H and I started having trouble, and then again 6+ months ago, he started sharing things with her about our M that he shouldn't have, but only because NO ONE else was agreeing with him. They all felt he needed to talk to me etc. All the things his M said about his SIL to me, she said to him about ME.
Last year,when I quit talking to her, she cornered me at an outing, crying, wondering why I was being so distant. So I told her, honestly and calmly. She kept up with the boohooing, until I calmly told her the fake waterworks did not work with me. She doesn't have guilt to hold over my head. The crying IMMEDIATELY stopped. My H's current Smom actally saved the situation. (yet another instance of where she invited herself to an outing with their dad)
Anyway, she has told H she will throw a hissy fit (her words) if he reconciles with me. He has already told her it's his life and he'll do what he want. He's already told me however I want to handle the situation with her this weekend, he will back me up. He's already promised many times over the last month or so that he will not discuss our M with her ever again. He sees how bad it was etc.
Last night when we went to bed, he did let me just talk about her, vent about her,fantasize, cry, worry etc. Just to get it out. I told him I don't want to have these feelings about her, I want to be able to have her in our home and it be ok, It is his mom and I don't want to feel this urge to make him choose. He was really good about the whole talk, was very understanding, and I am reasonably sure he will stand up for D and I if she starts in on anything.
I love my FIL and his entire family. They are always wonderful to me and my children. They have always made us feel like we are part of the family. Even 2 weeks ago, after all of H and I's problems, they gave us big hugs and told us they loved us. My D is a really sweet girl. Extremely kindhearted, a big open heart, rarely talks bad about ANYONE, even she can't stand my MIL. She is stressing about her being their this weekend. She said she will just hang out with her *TeddyBear* and ignore her though. (which won't help things actually.) TeddyBear is her nickname for H's dad instead of gpa. (It's a play on his name)
The SIL doesn't like the current Smom, (doesn't even like MIL, but plays up to her to her face) so that will be another drama occurring. SIL and I get along for the brothers sake. Even my H doesn't like her. Her reason for not liking me is jealousy. She thinks everything I have/earned or that H does for me her H should do too. It's some kind of competition on her end only, which is just stupid. BUT, I can get along with her, so only dreading the 2 MIL's drama with her.
Sooooo...we're supposed to camp out their tonight through Monday. I told H I may spend the night at home on Sun though, we'll see. Mainly because I don't know how much sand in my pants I can take.
I think H and I have talked about things enough, communicated well, each felt like we were heard. That I think we will be ok through this. Somehow I need to find a way to be ok with my MIL.
OHhhhh....and she doesn't know that D and I are camping out there. When we show up with H today that will be a shock for her. :):):):) And no, I'm not going to hug her. I will say hello and be polite. THAT IS IT.
