Something lost and never seen....

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Bad Company, H4H & Karen))) Thanks. Yesterday was a really bad day, but looking back, I'm actually proud of myself because for most of his rant I was just quiet. In the past I would have tried to defend myself or whatever and I just let him act like an ass and just looked at him like he was a child having a tantrum.

Also, from what you are saying it sounds like this stuff was about your H. He started out the evening upset or in a bad mood saying "that's just stupid" etc. and something was going on with him, not so much you I think so maybe he was venting some anger or frustration or stress out on you?

Karen, I'm certainly not going to try and defend his actions or words but ultimately I know wherever that came from yesterday, it was not about me. I'm sure whatever the cause was really had nothing to do with me, but I was there and an easy target... Its not my job to figure it out, nor is it my job to fix it. I do know he has a lot on his plate right now and I'm sure that doesn't help, but its also a good lesson in reaping what you sow.

Also, I am probable overly sensitive to this, but when he calls you stupid I think you should call him directly on that, you know that's verbal abuse, and you should tell him that's not appropriate or acceptable and you won't let him do that. Enforce your boundaries and all that

Its not being over sensitive. He was way out of bounds and I am many things, but stupid is not one of them. I made a mistake, but it was an honest mistake. The stupid thing really didn't bother me as much as him just making everything personal...it just wasn't called for. I guess that one of my first goals will be to set and enforce better boundaries where it concerns the way I allow him to talk to me.

Thanks again guys. I just have to look at it like this...its gotta SUCK to be him.