It's great that you are able to detach from your H's moods. I'm sure that he notices this, and it sounds like you are on the way to something better than what you had before. I also like how he reminded you that his motorcycle was there, nice :). It's also nice that he assures you that it's nothing bad. Really it sounds like you have him back for good now.
There isn't anything not to be positive about.
Well done!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
It's all good! In the Mars/Venus book John Gray says men are like rubber bands. That once they've been intimate/close to the woman they love they feel the need to pull back again. He'll spring back again. I guess how willingly we accept this shows how much we care.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
good to hear this is natural. i could feel it yesterday. he wants to be with me so badly- yet part of him is still sorting his stuff out. i would leave the room and he'd say where are you going. come here. i need a hug. i could just tell he was getting cranky like a little kid!
i also went swimming in the bay with him yesterday. he went further but had a wetsuit and i didnt! big step for me too that i just do things and dont hesitate! he was really proud of me but more importantly i was SO proud of myself!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
argh! so i have an update with my nutty family. last night we were driving down our street and my dad walked out to his car (yes- we live too close and he has other houses he owns nearby so isnt always there- long story)...so we drove by and waved but didnt stop.
my H said now your dad is probably saying what an a-hole i am. i said whatever and didnt even care. i truly need to detach from my dad. (ive been doing it for years)
so today my mom emails me and said is it true that you just drove right by him blah blah about my and his emotions...
i said please do not get involved. i have a sep r with you and i need space from him - as she knows.
furthermore- it is always about my "poor" dad and his needs. i need to take care of myself and my health.
my mom always b!tches to me about my dad and i have to stop her.
what a mess. this makes me want to move today. and quit now- bc i work with my mom. it is so entangled. i hate it.
VENT!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Just breathe. How you dad feels has no reflection on you. It's his demons he has to deal with. You should read "The Four Agreements" It'll help in times like these.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
what is the 4 agreements about? i have done so much work on my sicth w my dad. im so over it bc he is just too difficult. it is just easier not to see him or talk with him. but he is so F'ing pushy!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I just had a session with Jody. she is so amazing. lots of stuff gets accomplished each time!
so i got clear on my job and house with her and steps to take...i feel so much better...she understands my sitch and helped me see that it does all need to change...dangerous connection to my fam.
1st step is to sell house. so i cant wait to start that process. im ready! i just have to calm down until i can talk to my H about it....im sure he will be on board.
then the next step after that is quit my job w my family business..then i can start over in my M.
